297 - How Do We Find Authenticity?

What does authenticity mean, and how does it influence our leadership, teaching, and personal growth? 

This is a juicy conversation about self-discovery and living true to oneself, as an ever-evolving process.

Weekly stories by email from Bonnie HERE

Connect with Bonnie: Instagram, Email (hello@bonnieweeks.com), Website

Produced by: Grey Tanner

Transcript

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (00:01.742)
Hello, loves. It has been a minute. And I am jumping back on the podcast here. If you have been listening sequentially after not podcasting for about four months, which might be the longest. I've definitely taken some chunks of time in podcasting land over the past.

Almost six and a half years of podcasting where I have had a hiatus and then I have popped back in. And so here I am. And today was the day, and I didn't even know it when I woke up this morning. But it has been on my mind. And so, first and foremost, hello. And I have missed being here. And maybe this episode has popped up in your podcast feed, and you're like,

Yoga strong, we're back. If that's the case, hello, especially since you're some of my people who have been here with me, maybe for a minute. And I'm excited about this episode and about what is coming, and to share where I've been and what I've been up to and what is what's my current. You know, the the current that I'm swimming in, my

the the current river that I am, right? And like the current events of of Bonnie and my life. And there's been so many times in the past months where I thought, wow, I'm not even podcasting about any of this and the the billions of aha's and teaching moments and having this podcast be such a resource for so many students and teachers and hearing about it.

in so many random times has especially made me miss this this experience and the opportunity to connect with you. So thank you for being here. We're gonna dive in today talking about authenticity and it made me laugh a little bit to think about I feel about jumping back into the podcast and having this be the topic and also felt really right for that.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (02:23.476)
This is a conversation that is forever and authenticity is a can be a hot buzz word. And yet it is the word that is used by all of us, even if it's kind of being thrown around often. It is the word that means moving and living and speaking and being who you are from the inside out.

In a way that is honest, in a way that feels really true to you, in a way that other people can't not like they can't help really either loving you or hating you. Sometimes there's a wiggly in the between. But when you're so much of yourself that people are like, that's that's like that there's a vibe, right?

And of course, we can get a vibe without even anybody saying anything. You can get a vibe from just the sound of somebody's voice and not even seeing them and or seeing them and not even hearing the sound of their voice. You know, we all have we all have our different gifts of of assessing who is for us and who is not. But ultimately what I'm talking about with authenticity today is how do we tap into being loud enough that people know that.

They are for you or not.

Are people for you or are they not? And how do they know? They know when you are loud enough so that they have enough experience with you to say yes or no. And it has nothing to do with you. But it has something to do with you because you have to be loud enough for them to figure that out and for them to say yes or no. And for the most part, we don't want to hear no, you know?

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (04:28.94)
I want to be the yes. I want people to love me. I want to feel belonging, right? And if you're a teacher, because you know, if you've been here for a minute, you know that I work a lot with teachers. That's that's my gig because I love it so much and because it is so impactful, because teachers, yoga teachers are up at the front of the room and they are leaders in their community. And the way that you lead from the front of the room, the way you show up with compassion.

And dedication and a willingness to put yourself out there means something. And I believe yoga teacher changes the world one person at a time. And so if we are willing to step up in front of the room and be loud enough about who we are unapologetically, that doesn't mean we're an asshole. And that doesn't mean you're not kind. And that doesn't mean that you don't give the benefit of the doubt. That doesn't mean that you're expecting that people are doing the best that they can do. And that you are kind of.

Kind in the way that you know that there's hidden, hidden hard things that everyone is carrying. It just means that who you are on the inside is who you're living on the outside, that you're saying what you mean and meaning what you say. And if people say no to you, that's not about you. You're just a no for them. And I know for myself that there's people that I'm like, mm, that's not an that's not, that's not somebody that I need to learn from. I'll speak

If I think specifically about learning, do I need to go learn with this person? Is that somebody who I need to be in the company of? Do they have something to teach me this moment? And there's some people that I have a poll towards. And that poll could be something that might actually be a little bit spicy and light me up and challenge me. And in other people, it might be a poll because it feels so resonant with the way that I think. I think it's important to pay attention to why there's a poll. And some people are like, that's a no for me.

That's valid. That is valid. And could that change for any of us at any future point? Absolutely. But I need people that I'm going to learn from, that I want to invest a relationship with, to be loud enough about who they are, what their values are, what they believe, how they interact with the world, so that I know if they're for me.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (06:54.274)
Because one thing I do know about my life is that it is finite. It will end, as will yours. And that is the a hundred percent given for every single one of us. It is the thing we have probably greatest in common that we are going to die. And death is constantly on my mind. If you've been with me for a minute, you know that my mom passed. It will be two years in September. And it is the end of May right now. So

It's always in my mind. And how do we show up today? Because I don't know what what time I have. And I have even thought in the last couple of months, well, I guess I've asked myself this question or posed this idea and said, Okay, Bonnie, so let's say you're gonna die by the end of this year.

What you gonna do with this year?

How's it gonna matter? You get to the end of this year and you only have this year left to live. How does that make you show up? How does that make you wanna create? How does that make you wanna invest in the people and processes that you believe in that light you up, that change the world, that ripple one person at a time? How does that change you? And friends, I think an authentic life.

is where you're continually asking yourself questions to go deeper. That's one piece of it. And putting death on the table is a really helpful resource for that. And giving yourself this challenge of saying like, well, time's gonna run out. What am I gonna do then? What am I doing with my time? And getting really serious about that. And and approaching that conversation with yourself unemotionally, kind of in a way.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (08:52.29)
Where it I mean, there's times we can cry about death and cry about other people dying. I mean, I just found out two days ago that somebody who has been in flow school with me and I have been and somebody in person flow school. So I've been leading in person flow schools since twenty twenty two, I believe. so for over the past four years. And

There's something different about in person experiences, right? They've had the the privilege of working with so many people online. But in person we have four or five days, mostly five days in most trainings. There's one train that was just four days, together and for like eight, nine hours a day, ten hours a day. And that's a different training, especially because I on purpose keep them intimate so that we actually have time together as one on one. And

I found out a couple of days ago that one of the teachers who came to that has passed and unexpectedly.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (10:02.552)
So, what are we doing out here? And you know, I'm not gonna recap all history of where I've been in this past several months and what I've been, you know, personally processing that's gonna come out as it does and in future episodes. but I think that it's important in this moment to acknowledge where the online space has.

Has been really ramped up and where it's enjoyable to get offline and to touch grass. I've been doing a lot of yard work. That's been nice. But in this conversation of connection and of showing up in the online space and of being your real self, and you do not have to be on the online space to tap into your authenticity.

This could be very much an offline experience. Both things, right? But I am going to speak directly that AI and the way that technology is expanding makes it even more apparent, I think, in a in a way, how real humanness is vital.

Is vital. I saw a video today, and I wouldn't have guessed on first pass that it was AI. And then it was. And I felt surprised. And so everything can be mimicked in the online space. So this touchable connection, and please opt into touchable connections as much as is possible. but touchable connection is so important because what the hell is true?

Or not. And how can you show up as yourself in a world where anything can be created? And why is that important? Yeah. So, how do we be more me? And what the hell is even me? Right. I wanna I wanna jump to a conversation that I've had and we're gonna keep looping here. I have been gifted the opportunity to work with an amazing teacher. I am mentoring her, and I've been mentoring her since January.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (12:28.916)
I do mentorship especially for people for who have gone through flow school already. So whether online or in-person flow school. So if you're an alumni, then you're eligible for my offer of sequencing sessions. So sequencing sessions are a one-on-one experience where we meet three times a month and we talk about sequencing. We build sequences. You practice teaching them. We talk all teaching and leadership topics. And I have been privileged to work with

of teacher since January and she is incredible as a human, as a mother, as a leader, as an educator. And I also feel extra grateful that she is older than me and the gift it is that I get to work with so many women who are older than me. Oof. Who are like, I wanna own this or

I want to dive deeper into this, or I could understand this more, or who am I at this stage of life? And what is my voice here? I adore working with women who are older than me. I am 42. I'll be 43 in September. And gosh.

I love it. And I love that I'm like in this middle range still of like people in their 20s, people in their 60s, and that the rooms that I lead are full of all ages. Such a gift. But her and I have been having this conversation about authenticity, and I want to bring it here to you because she is at a studio that has new YTT babies. So if you are a new graduated YTT,

Student or slash teacher, right? So you're a teacher and you just did your 200 hour teacher training. This is a conversation for you, but it's also a conversation liter for literally all of us. So she was recalling to me a a teacher, a new teacher graduate, right? Who said, Okay, you seem so authentic. How do I find my authenticity?

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (14:49.74)
Right. How do I find my authentic voice? How do I find my authentic self? You're so authentic. And you know, this woman that I'm working with, she's like, I don't know how else to be. Like I'm literally just who I am in front of the room. Like, like I'm just I'm just who I am. She's in her 50s. She's 56. Actually, she just had her birthday. And

She's who says who I'm who I am and it's gonna take time for a minute. And all that is true. And it just has stuck with me though. And we had a longer conversation. So I want to bring I want to bring some of that conversation here about, you know, my thoughts on on what it means to be an authentic self and how to find and air quotes. How how do you find your aut authenticity? And for me, I I just think right off the bat.

I want to say it's something that you're going to discover every single freaking day of your life. And some days you wake up and you feel like you know who you are, and other days, like you could be the very next day, and you wake up and think, Who the hell am I? Because we constantly change. And so who we are on the inside is also changing. And there's this acclamation.

point two sometimes where we've been maybe a certain person and we've believed and acted in certain ways and we have been wearing the same ideas and we kind of want to change it sometimes. And there is there's a a process that is and is it is a wiggly process. 100%. And I I thought of the analogy of clothing.

That I think is really helpful to think about authenticity. When you are a brand new baby and you are born, you are a blob. And you have no say over what clothes you get squeezed into. And if you get shoes put on you, if you get a hat put on you, if you get those little mittens on your fingers so that you don't accidentally scratch yourself with your fingernails, which really happens with babies, you don't care.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (17:12.542)
And you have no choice. You don't even know how to see things with your eyeballs yet. So you're a baby and somebody dresses you in some clothes. And you could look back at clothes at these pictures of you in these clothes as a baby and you're like, I'm so cute, or like, wow, mom dressed me in that, or whatever it is, right? And then you start to grow up a little bit, and then you're like three or four and you start to have opinions. You have language where maybe you can say things, and you're like, nope.

I'm not gonna wear that. I'm gonna dress myself. And I think of my three kids. So I have a 20-year-old, an 18-year-old, and a 15-year-old. And I think of my three kids at the point in time where they decided they wanted to dress themselves. And sometimes it is wild. You're like, okay, well, you know, if you want to wear that, that's fine. So they start to dress herself. But I'm still the one who is maybe buying the clothes or they're picking out the clothes. But the way that they're putting together, I'm like, well, that's kind of an interesting choice, right? And now I'm gonna bring this forward to me.

When I was a kid, I who your family is, who your friends are, the culture you grew up around, all of those things are going to influence what type of clothing you wear. I was told that showing my shoulders was bad, so I couldn't wear any sleeveless things. I grew up a Mormon, right? So leaving the church 10 years ago, I'm wearing sleeveless things all the time. That's all I wanted to do as a kid.

but I was told I couldn't wear certain things. So that's gonna impact the clothing that you wear. And then maybe you see somebody and you're like, I really like how they wear these boots. Maybe I want to try some boots. So then you see somebody who has a different style than you even thought was possible. And so you try it on. And you try it on maybe for a little bit. And

Then you decide, actually, I do like boots, but those boots that I had the first time that kind of looked like this other's person's that you really thought that they looked pretty cool in are actually terribly uncomfortable and don't make a lot of sense and actually aren't very cute. But there's another pair of boots that wearing those boots led you to that you wouldn't have even considered had you not tried on that first pair of boots. And these other ones are like, wow, golden.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (19:26.444)
like gonna keep forever gonna be wearing these till I'm like a 75, right? Type of vibes. TBD on that. And then you, you know, repeat with every single type of clothing out there. And you know, I think clothing is a nice comparison because it's an outer thing. It's something that changes. It's something that we can all see. You can't see the inside of you. And I almost think about the seat inside of myself as that place that's that's under my rib cage.

But at the bottom of my ribcage. So if I were to hold my hand to my chest, it is in the in like the middle. That bone, that hard bone that runs up and down in your chest, in between your ribs, is called your sternum. And the top of your sternum is all the way up at the base of your neck. And your clavicles are the bones that are kind of right on top of your shoulders slash chest, like the front part. And they're they're kind of flattish and they come together in those two little bony points right at the base of your neck.

And then they're connected right down to your sternum. And if you were to follow that sternum, that flat part down your body, there's eventually gonna get to a soft place. You get to like the very point of it, the soft place now enters your belly. So we're not going down to belly. I almost think the bottom half of that sternum. This is to me this the center place of me. This is the heart place of me as well. Your heart is right in there.

And I think of that place as the seat of myself. I can't see that inside place. But I move from it. I move from it. And that part affects everything in my life. And this is this is this is not like the physical heart I'm talking about. This is, you know, that the the spiritual heart, honestly. Right? It's it's that inner self there.

And where clothes is a nice analogy because you don't have any choice and then you start to choose, and then we experiment with clothes, and we're still experimenting with clothes. I just want to let you know that yesterday I bought myself a pair of pink Crocs. In my life, I have never ever owned Crocs in my whole life. And I have thought about buying pink crocs for myself that are like a light pink. And I have thought about wearing or like buying these for myself for a long, long time. And I bought them for myself yesterday, and I have not taken them off.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (21:52.618)
Okay, I lied. I haven't taken them off inside my house. I've declared them my inside shoe house, inside house shoe. And I'm like this sometimes my kids are wearing their their shoes in the house and I'm like, it's kind of gross. so these are my backyard shoes and my inside the house shoes. And I'm wearing them even at this moment as I'm recording, and they are bringing me so much joy. I had no idea they would. And so here I am experimenting with crocs for the first time in my life.

I don't know, what is this gonna lead me to? Right?

All of these experiments with clothing are something that we try on. Try on these clothes. Here, have a mini fashion show. I like when my sister comes to town and she goes and has to get some some work clothes for a conference she's going to. And then I was like, okay, are you gonna fashion show for us? And she's like, yes. And then we get to like see her fits. And then it's like, okay, well, this size, and blah blah blah. And you know, we're having this whole ex exchange and and conversation around what.

looks good? What feels good? Does this make sense? Does this portray the feeling that I I want? Does this cloth do this clothing make me like, does this clothing make me feel the way that I want to feel because different clothing makes you feel different ways, right? So we try on clothes.

And let ourselves navigate through that experiment. And we don't have to actually attach all of our worth to it. They're clothes on our body. We know that they're not necessarily who we are, but also our clothes very much speak loudly for us. And our clothes can help people know if they're for us or not. Our clothes impact the world as we walk around.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (23:52.524)
All of like there's definitely an energy with that. So I want us to use for this moment this example of wearing clothes and talking about authenticity. Because sometimes when we grow up, we're like, I don't know what authenticity means and and how do I find it in myself. And I want you to look around. And maybe you're at that place now. You're like, I basically feel like a seven-year-old, great, or I feel like a 17-year-old, right?

And maybe you're in your twenties and you're like, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Cool. And maybe you're you maybe you're 63 and you're like, WTF is life. And what is my voice? And how do I find it? And how do I share it?

I don't care what age you are, you get to try on clothes. You get to try on voices and you get to play with it.

You get to play with it. This means, let's translate this. This means you get to play with who you are, what you believe in, how you translate that to other people, what the sound of your voice is, what you want to create in the world, what you want to do that you've never done, that you've never given yourself permission to do. You get to put yourself in places so that you see other people, so that you see what's possible. You're like, maybe those are boots that I want to try on. And you can try it on.

If there is some something about somebody else that lights you up, try it on. Now it might not be as easy as putting on a pair of boots. It probably is going to be actually much harder than that. But imitate somebody. And you know, I think I can get a bad rap. You're imitating somebody. Can you ever imitate somebody completely? No, you can't. But they could inspire you.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (25:54.03)
To try something that maybe you didn't even think was possible, that you didn't even know existed in the world. And that's a gift. So go buy the fucking boots. Go borrow them. Go secondhand shop them. Like I don't care what it is, right? Go try the boots on. Imitate that. Be like, this person is doing this thing. And that lights me up in a way. I maybe there's something in what they're doing that's for me too.

That doesn't mean you're stealing from them. That doesn't mean you're trying to be them. That means that you're using what they're doing as a tool to discover who you are and what and what your life is about. Because you're not just wearing boots. I mean, you could just wear boots. That might be hot. But the odds are you probably have some underwear on.

And there's a variety of what that might be. boots mean you probably have some socks on. You could even have two different kinds of socks on. You probably have something on your legs. I mean, you could just again be your underwear, socks, and boots. Again, that could be hot. Maybe you have a hat on with just that look. Maybe you have a certain type of earrings. Maybe you have a hairstyle to go along with that. Maybe you want to color the ends of your hair. Maybe it's multicolors. Maybe.

You want to wear sunglasses with this. We don't even have clothes on yet. Then there's a layering that happens. Maybe there's pants and a shirt and sort of you're picking this up. You're not just wearing boots from one person because we're not, we are more than one thing. You are more than one thing. And I think living authentically and leading authentically is embracing that you are more than one thing. And you always will be.

And allowing yourself to look around and see what else is possible and try on. Those different versions of yourself gives you permission to expand. And when we start to imitate, we start to say, like, that's for me. Then you start to integrate it into who you are. And you're like, maybe it could fit here in my wardrobe, right? My wardrobe of my soul.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (28:15.36)
And then maybe you're like, actually, you know what? I liked that pair of boots. But what if what if I use that pair of boots and like sew something onto them? Or what if I add this other leather? Or what if I do XYZ?

Right? What if I take this pair of boots? I know. I'm gonna add them with this outfit. I don't know if I've ever seen anybody do it this way. You start to innovate on this. It becomes yours. You personalize it. It can never be like somebody else. You cannot be somebody else. You can never be somebody else. You can never be like somebody else. You can never look like them. You're going to be you. And you can imitate and you can then integrate it into you. And then you can innovate off of that. That means you're creating.

After that, does it stop? Absolutely not. You're iterating one thing, then you're changing it to the next, then you're doing it again, then you're doing again, and you're doing it again. You're like, who the hell am I in today? I don't know. Let's figure it out again. Authenticity is the willingness to continually look at yourself, to hold your hand to your heart, to that seat of the soul inside of you and say, stay here. And who are you? And move from that.

Place. It is a constant experience, the same way as getting dressed is a constant experience. And I think finding your authenticity and leading and living from your authenticity is a willingness to sit with yourself, to go inside and to see yourself. That is not always very comfortable work. And it can be approached as play. And I sure.

As I'll hope you're laughing about the process because it again is gonna be a little bit weakly.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (30:20.918)
So let's bring this back to teachers. If you have graduated a 200 hour YTT, my thoughts on a 200-hour YTT are rather specific. I have some ideas. I really think that a bulk of that, and I think let's just call 200 YTT the name of the training, but not the amount of hours of the training. I think a 200 hour YTT graduate student should be like.

I don't know, at least a 400 hour training. But we'll call it a 200 hour because that's like the lingo of the of the industry. But I I need 200 hours actually on movement and teaching, like physical teaching skills. because I think what can get in the way of authenticity is especially I'm gonna speak for yoga teachers. I think what can get in the way is that there's not enough room

in somebody to get past just teaching the movement pieces. Because teachers are so often, and I'm just speaking from what I have heard, and this does not have to be everywhere. And this does not have to be your training if you lead a training and it doesn't have to be the training that you took because it gave you the things, that's totally fine. But I have heard so many stories of people who have left their two-hour teacher training without the skills to understand how to teach postures, how to teach flow,

How to sequence. And what is the primary thing that yoga teachers, you're done with teacher training? What happens? You're supposed to show up in the room. You're supposed to give an audition class where you teach them the sequence that you have for people, right? And you're supposed to know how to cue them and move bodies in the room. How much of a class that is being taught?

is talking about like bear with me is talking about the history of yoga is talking about meditation and pranayama and mudras and and and and i before i move on i think all of those things are very important the philosophy the all of all of things where it's come from everything i think all of those are very important and and

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (32:47.764)
Need to be studied. And I think that when yoga teachers do not leave teacher training, understanding what, where, how, and why to move bodies, then there is not a lot of room for them to feel confident in moving bodies. And that lack of confidence.

affects who they think that they are or are not. Because another piece of that is also teachers understanding that they're gonna suck at first. Just like I did. If you're new at something, you're not gonna be good at it. And we really don't like to be bad at things. Like we really want to be good at things, but you're not gonna do it very well because teaching is a practice. It's a practice and you got to get the reps in.

You gotta have though the tools to actually get the reps in. You need to have a toolbox full so you can get the reps in. You need to know the movements to teach, the posture names, the pose names, the alignment and the engagement without saying the words alignment and engagement in a room and y'all's like try that. Teach a class without using the word alignment and engagement, but teach alignment and engagement. You can.

And the pathway of moving. So how do you teach transitions? And both need to be there, right?

With this, there is more confidence if a teacher understands how to move bodies because such a large part of current yoga teaching is helping bodies move. Now, there's different types of yoga out there, and there is and I I love that there is. Honestly, I I I really, really love that there's so many different ways to practice the physical asana part of yoga.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (34:50.21)
because we all need different things at different times. And the same person needs something different at different times, sometimes different times of the day, right? So all of the things. I I love that it's all there. I love that there's so many different teachers that have different specialties. I think all of that is really important. And I if I, you know, were here and and leading a two hundred hour teacher training, which I have thought about, but I will lead three hundred hour teacher training, which of course

Is just the title of the training, not the amount of hours of the training. So if that is interesting with you, stay tuned for next year. So fall of 2027. That's the the date of starting a 300-hour teacher training with me. So stay tuned. And I think for a 200 hour it is so much, like so much should be focused on the body and almost the other half of that.

focused on leadership. Leadership being meditation is definitely a part of this, right? Meditation and breath. Because leadership is about going in and learning how to lead from the inside to the outside. So this is very much about curiosity and bravery and generosity and connection. To me, when I think about spirituality, I think about connection to self.

Connection to other people, connection to the natural world, and connection to the unknown.

To the things that are unexplainable, to kind of a sense of magic, you know, of things that that we might not understand. Like w where do we actually go after we die? And as much as we can try to explain it all, it is actually unexplainable. And we actually do not know. And we can have strong beliefs in and one way or the other. And and I have had strong beliefs in my life and and I have gotten to this place where I don't know. And that is a part

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (36:55.022)
Part of my spiritual practice is like embracing that, which makes this time right now really important. So I think if half of our training is on movement and on teaching skills and how to read bodies and how to see people, and the other half is on deeply finding ourselves and seeing ourselves and practicing being seen. So when you own the hell out of your voice, which

It's a phrase I've said for a long time. I help yoga teachers own the hell of their voice. That means that you are being authentic. That means that you are practicing the being seen. And that is, I have whiteboarded, I love whiteboards. I have whiteboarded, like what the hell does being seen mean? And how do you practice that? And I think that's what leadership, what what leadership training is, when especially when I think about for yoga teachers, is practicing being seen.

And that means a lot of different things to me, but so much of it also there's there's a part of it that's befriending yourself. there's definitely a part of it that's public speaking. This is about befriending all the different areas of you. Right. This is your voice, befriending your voice. This is understanding what your values are, what matters to you. And knowing that when we do this at different times in our lives, that's gonna change, which is great.

So this is not to say that there should not be history taught. Like, where did yoga come from? And who are we to teach it? And getting rooted in that for yourself. And this is not to say that there shouldn't be other areas of study, because if you are a yoga teacher, you know that yoga is bigger than asana, but you also know that the body is a pathway in.

The body is a pathway in. You can touch it. You can't touch your joy. You can't touch grief or sorrow or despair. You can't touch anger.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (39:02.316)
You can't touch like immense joy. I already said the word joy. Like you can't touch wonder and love and gratitude. Like you can touch skin. And you can move your body so it speaks to those parts of you. And you can find those parts of you. And you can see those parts of you. The physical practice.

is the the physical body is a gateway to the inside spiritual body. That's such a gift. And so if you're a a student and a teacher, you know there's always something more to learn. And

I think that if you're in a 200 hour training, 100% there needs to be some history. Like, where did this come from and why? And how has it impacted the world? And where has it impacted the world negatively? And how has it impacted the world positively? And how does and and how can we add an and to everything? Like it does everything have to be black and white? Can there be an and to it all? How can we stay open and keep asking questions? And then understand that after you finish this, this training that's labeled as 200 hours.

there's gonna be other places to deep dive. I think there could be an entire, well, I don't think there could be an entire training just on learning how to speak Sanskrit appropriately. And understanding that even when I say the word Sanskrit, I'm not pronouncing Sanskrit right. Right? You can have an entire training on mudras and on meditation and on pranayama and on yin, which is way different than vinyasa and prenatal. Then we're going to special populations. How do you teach people who are pregnant?

How do you teach people who are a population who are older who actually don't have a lot of balance, who are needing chairs? How do you teach chair practices? How do you teach certain populations children? How do you teach people who are incarcerated? And how does that change your language? How do you teach teenagers on the football team? How do you so we have special, special populations, right? Then we go into Yoga Nidra and storytelling. How do you storytell in a class? How do you theme it?

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (41:10.816)
And then we can talk about yoga business. Then we could go into specific types of practices where I'm coming from a vinyasa land and creative sequencing. but creative sequencing with some intense purpose. Not, I don't want to use the word intense here, a very intentional what, why, where, how of movement science, traditional yoga, and like the mixture of those things. And

If I were to add on to this list of other deep dives, you could go more specific into specific types of yoga practices that are more set sequenced. So we can talk about Ashtanga or Baptist yoga. we could talk about really specific trainings like Ayangar trainings like a Hata Yoga with Ayangar with like a strap wall.

et cetera, right? We could go to the hot 26, aka the Bikram program. You could go towards more corporate things like Core Power has their own trainings and you want they want their trainings for their people and yoga six, and there's others out there, right? So we can we can make a big list of infinite ways and Pilates right now is hot. And then I just realized that Inferno Hot Pilates is not Pilates, it's more of a hit Tabata, like it's more of a hit workout.

and totally than Pilates, but then even in Pilates land, like having Pilates friends, like there's like a billion ways to think about Pilates, which is like not my not my expertise here. So, but it's very similar to yoga, where there's a lot of different ways that it can look. So there's forever learning. That's my that's my point here. So, what are we being asked to do as yoga teachers? And how, as teacher trainers, can we take on the responsibility of like we are responsible if we're gonna train teachers?

then they should be able to leave teacher training, be able to actually do the things they're being trained to do, right? And not just running a teacher training to make money for the studio. Studios, that's like I don't even want to talk about studios and and money making for studios. That's like a whole different conversation and topic, but it that needs a different deep dive. But to really train teachers with a lot of responsibility that they're gonna they're

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (43:27.918)
They're gonna want to teach after this. And how do we support them to find their authenticity in their leadership and how they show up in front of the room and how they hold themselves? Do they realize that this is a public speaking job? And a lot of teachers, I know I've talked to lots of teachers who didn't realize that they were even going to teach, and then here they are teaching, which is exciting. Yeah.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (43:56.494)
So that's some background on what I would do if I was gonna be leading a 200 hour training again. I'm gonna do a 300 hour where we're gonna cover a lot of these different things. And I can be really honest about the things that I know that I'm good at and the things that are not my deep dive. And I love that there are other teachers who have deep dived these different types of topics so that we can actually learn from somebody who has put in like the 30,000 hours to do the thing.

Let's learn from those people rather than having one person try to cover it all, like go to the experts. Go to the experts and learn the thing from them and then go to the other expert that has the other thing. And this is a forever process, right? I love that. So in your authentic journey, which I am on just as much as you are. Who am I? What am I doing in the world? How do I want to create in the world? What's my impact?

How can I be honest with myself? All the things, right? I have for you a short list of questions. And if you want to pause in between each one and write it down, go for it. Last night I had a minute by myself, and I am about to launch into summertime here with my kids. And my oldest is coming back from college, and my middle is moving in full time with me. and this is the year between high school and college.

And so I'm gonna have a full house all summer. And usually they go back and the kids go back and forth between their dad's house, except for my college kids. So I'm gonna have two kids with me all summer, and my other youngest will bop around. So it's gonna be a party here. And last night was my last night alone for the foreseeable future until probably the end of September or October. So I have several months, which is a beautiful gift and a wild ride.

It gets to be both. I value my alone time. That doesn't mean that there's not gonna be alone time during the day or whatever, but to have an evening, I'm going to bed, I'm waking up by myself, it's a different sort of experience. And I am grateful for that time as reflection. And last night I made a fire in my backyard, my fire pit, and took my dinner out and sat with myself and wrote down some questions that feel pertinent.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (46:23.31)
this here. so in speaking to authenticity and how do you find it? And there's a lot of things that we could talk about, but I want to give you this question number one.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (46:45.9)
I want you to think about somebody close to you. A bestie.

Maybe it's a bestie that you are doing your fashion show for and with. And maybe it's a work bestie. Right. So we have different people in our lives for different that sometimes like know us in different areas of our our our living, right? Our our creating. So I want you to think of I want you to think of one of those people that's close to you. And I don't care if that's close to you and like more personal or more work, you know.

But it's somebody who kind of knows, like this person needs to know you more intimately. Like they are somebody who is accepting of all of you and can really see you. And if you were to go to that person and say, I want you to be really honest, you've heard me talk, you've heard me process, you've heard me waffle about things, you've heard me say what I want or what I don't want.

But if you could be really, really honest with me, and I want you to be, what do you think is in my way?

What is getting in my way?

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (48:11.104)
And I want you to think about this person. I want you to think about this question. What's in the way? How are you getting in your way? This is about you. It's not about something outside of yourself, right? It's not like, well, you just whatever, something outside of yourself, right? It's like, what's getting in the way of me doing XYZ, being XYZ, creating XYZ? What's in the way? So I want you to imagine that person.

And this question number one. This is exercise. And I want you to write down the answer. Because the odds are fairly high that if they know you enough to love all the versions of you, then I hope that it's the flip side too, that it's not just a one way street here, but you know them. And if they came to you and said, Hey, you know I'm trying to live my best life out here, will you just tell me because you see me differently than

I know I see myself. What's in my way? What am I like constantly like right here with? Like, what's in my way? So I want you to answer that for yourself. You don't need to ask somebody else, actually. This is this is where you put a your own hand on your own heart and you say, Stay here, and you look in. What's in the way? I want you to think about one person.

Think about the way they'd say it, the tone of their voice, the words they say, and it might be right there and it's like five words or one word, or you have a whole paragraph to write. Okay. If you want to pause this as we're going, then like feel free to make this a your writing experience or come back to this, right? Okay. So now I want you to think with that thing in mind. Now that you've written out the answer that you're like, this is 100% what they'd say. This is definitely what's in the way, like this is how I'm getting my way. With that thing in mind.

Why are you avoiding it? Barely brushing the surface and then jumping ship? Why are you like, too hot? I kinda want to, but and it might be that you're like, well, I don't have the answer yet. Then you need to be like, Well, how are you gonna get the answer? Right. What do you need to do? But why are you why are you jumping ship?

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (50:28.588)
And then next question, what would it require for you to lean the fuck all the way in?

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (50:37.644)
What do you need to lean all the way in? To go through it. You gotta dive into it, not avoid it. You go into it. So what do you need to do that? Next question. Is there something you believe about yourself? And that's part of what's in the way. What's a belief about yourself that's part of this that's in the way?

Next question. What's a story that you keep telling yourself that doesn't paint you as a bigger bigger version of yourself? And that might be similar to the last one of belief, but what's the story you're telling about yourself? I use that phrase all the time. The story I'm telling about myself is the story I'm telling myself.

And if it's not giving you the biggest version and where you're like

feeling sexy as fuck and doing the damn thing. Like what is it that's keeping you small? What is it that you're afraid of? What's something that feels like it is gonna ruffle something, right? Next question. What's the best that could happen?

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (52:01.27)
What's the best that could happen?

Last question And then what?

Because you know what? Even if the best thing happens, you're gonna go to bed and you're gonna wake up the next day and you're gonna be figuring out who the hell you are again. So and then what? How are you gonna keep moving? How are you gonna keep expanding? How you gonna keep growing? And then what? The best thing happens and then what? How else? Keep going. This is where you say, thank you more, please. Keep going.

This is all about all of this is about being loud enough so that people know that they are for you or not. And I am I I really love human design. I think I'm about four years into my own human design experiment. And I love talking to people. I love helping teachers dive into their things. I'm not an analyst. I've definitely toyed with with jumping into that.

realm, but I I I know some stuff and I have definitely deep dive with myself and I am a manifestor. So if you're a human design person, I'm a manifestor. And think of a a manifestor like a magnet. So people are either like, yup or, you know, it's like the flip side of the magnet where you're like, boom, the magnet flops across.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (53:26.808)
There's not really there's like not a middle ground. So because of that, I I have people who really dislike me and I feel surprised every time and it's actually really hard. I really hate it. I really hate it. And and and it's something that I know happens more when I am louder. And I know that I, you know, I put something on Instagram the other day that I I put this phrase, right? Like be loud enough that people know that they're, you know, for you or not.

Right. It's a gift we give to other people. Being yourself is a gift you give to other people because it doesn't waste their time. Let them go to someone that they actually are ready to learn from who is ready to be their teacher. Don't be in their way. I think, I think it's selfish if we're not being ourselves because then we're in the way of somebody else, knowing if they're for us or not. Let them go and find the person that's for them right now.

for real. Because if we can embrace that and if I can embrace that, where people will tell me, you know, I had somebody who came to flow school and they were telling their mom about me. And they're they were excited to come to flow school. They came to in-person flow school and they were like, Yeah, I'm going to flow school with Bonnie Weeks, and they pulled up an Instagram video of me and where you could hear my voice.

And their mom could not even see the picture yet. And this person pressed play. And their mom's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want it. I don't want it. I don't want to listen. I don't want it. Like, and this this person who came to Flow School felt really surprised and they had told me about this experience because I I get told often about people not liking me. So I like don't like it and also I like it. Like and I don't like it, but it's like interesting to me that people tell me.

And I have gotten that enough in my life that it's it feels cool. I'm like, okay, yeah, that makes sense because I know who I am. Like I I know who I am. And that's okay. Like, I'm not gonna be in your way. I would rather you know who I am so you can go find the person for you. And this person's mom, he was an instant no for me, but this person was a yes. And they thought that that was so interesting, and that is not an isolated experience.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (55:47.02)
So I know what it is to not be liked. And on the flip side, I know what it is to be liked because I am my full whole damn self. Right.

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (56:02.966)
Last thing before we wrap here. I feel like I've seen a lot of Instagram posts. So thinking of online, because you you can practice all of these things and not be in the online space. And and some of this conversation could light you up and you're like, no, yes, you know, I I'm an and person always. So there's always a conversation in in everything. And I'm not married to any of these ideas. again, you gotta divorce yourself from from the creation that you give because you're a constant transformation.

transformational person and also understand that whatever you put out does have an impact and it and it's both. It's both things. so yes and authenticity the conversation on authenticity of course is is bigger than this but I I have really seen some people I think kind of touch on this in social media in the past even week that I want to address and then we will we will piece out for for this moment. But these people are saying

you're gonna see a lot more of me because I'm not filtering myself anymore, because I don't care as much anymore, because you know, really people just care, you know, that if people are are are like not trying to do high production and just talk to the camera or just you know, whatever. And I I know what it is to want to have something polished, right?

Perfect is boring and it and perfection kills creativity in in a lot of ways. And also I've I've thought that when people declare this, like a lot of things that we say, it's not really for us. It's for them. And it can be both. Because I definitely say things here, and and all the things that I said today, even.

Right. Is this for me or is this for you? And it can be both. And I think that part of people saying it might be for somebody else to say, like, you know what? If I'm feeling this way, then maybe somebody else will feel this way and this will be impactful for them. But I also really think that it's for the person that's saying it. So they are giving themselves their own permission. Cause for you and me here, we already love it when people are like kind of unhinged and honest. But

Bonnie Weeks (she/her) (58:24.91)
Kind?

We like it when people are real. And so I think that when we announce it, we're we're really trying to give ourselves permission. And I think authenticity is about giving ourselves permission to be our whole damn selves and to give ourselves permission to be more than one thing, and to give ourselves permission to constantly be figuring out who we are in the center of us, who this spiritual person is inside this physical body. It's giving ourselves permission.

And the authenticity is living from the inside out. And it is work that we do in moment to moment and day to day. And it's not something that we're ever going to arrive at because we are discovering it in even this very second.

Thank you for being here with me. You are more than one thing. And I really, really hope that you are building the life you actually want. Until next time, be well.