265 - Five Things I've Learned from Ten Years on Instagram

Y'all. This past week my Instagram reached 100,000 followers! While reaching a certain number has never felt important to me, it does mean something: that a whole lot of you are choosing to show up to be with me and my weird-ass self.

I'm celebrating that. And I'm reflecting on the process of this growth and the community we've been building, and all the things. 

Today I share some of what I've learned over this last decade of showing up on social media, how I've been changed, who I've become. 

Thank you for being here. 

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The music for this episode is Threads by The Light Meeting.
Produced by: Grey Tanner

Transcript

Bonnie (00:02.136)
Hello, welcome to the podcast, my loves. Today, I wanna share with you what it's like to have 100,000 followers on Instagram. And I wanna say right up front that there is in no way a mission that I had to have any certain amount of followers ever. But I have been on Instagram for over 10 years and...

It has been such an integral part of my yoga experience. And truly now, like, can you spend a decade doing something and not have it change you? And to be doing that thing almost daily. You can't, you can't do something like that, especially if you are, if that is showing up and creating and putting out video and pictures and words and creating conversations and to be doing that on the daily for over 10 years.

Lups, this is like not fast growing. This is a slow, steady drumming of showing the hell up and figuring out what it is you're doing along the way. And it truly has been that where I haven't had a mission to do anything in particular, but that I have found it.

along the way. And as of this last week, my numbers on Instagram rolled over to 100,000 followers. Now I have gone up in numbers before and then got down like lots of thousands and then gone back up and so there's wiggling. So do I think that it's going to stay there forever? I don't know. It doesn't like, it doesn't matter to me actually, because it's never been what it's been about for me. And also I know that when there are more eyes on what you're doing,

it can change the story of what might be possible and how people might interact with you and what business might be possible. And so I also understand that it does mean something in some ways, but also there are so many incredible humans that I know that have thriving businesses that have a very small following. So I also want it to be very well known to be like, I'm working.

Bonnie (02:22.624)
A lot of hours over here for the things that I love and things that I'm doing. I'm not just like swimming in like throwing money around a success. Like that's not what success is for me. And also that's like not what's happening. There are people that are incredibly more wealthy in the world. And when it comes to money and business who have way fewer followers. So just to read it front, I feel like that's really important to say like more followers does not equal more money.

And if that is like a measure of success that's in your head, that is what I'm speaking to, that's not a whole story for me. Does that mean that maybe more people will see what I'm about and be called to step into something with me? Sure. Because numbers like do affect that.

And so I think it's really important for me to like round the conversation and like, I feel really clear on why I am using Instagram and how I'm using Instagram and who I am showing up for that's other than myself. And that the showing up for myself there is actually a really important part of my story. And so today we're going to celebrate this with you. Say like, we're going to celebrate because...

It's a number that means a lot. And I keep on opening up Instagram and being like, oh my gosh, it says like a hundred there. And I remember when it said 10. I remember when I went from nine, a single digit to 10, it was a double digit. I remember walking around that day. This is so many years ago. I mean like what? That is so many people. It's so many people. And then I thought, okay, well, I got over it and I kept on. And so a hundred thousand followers the other night when

I opened Instagram and it was 100,000 followers. had told my kids and my youngest kid, he plays football and he's like, mom, and he looked at some stats and he's like, a hundred thousand people. That's like how many people fit in the biggest NFL stadium.

Bonnie (04:26.484)
and thinking about that and thinking about how many people that is and how that feels like terrifying and also not because it's like you and me here.

It's just people. And I think of Brené Brown in her book, Dare to Lead. And the beginning of the book, she talks about going onto a stage to speak and feeling really nervous about going onto the stage and feeling like she's having this whole panic attack. And she peeks out the side curtain and she starts looking at the people and she recognizes like, oh, there's that person. Oh, I know that person. Oh, I know that person. I know this about them. Like, these are just people. People, people.

And that to me is so important that when I'm speaking to you here on the podcast, you are a person somewhere and you are alone, just like I am alone and we're alone together, right? There's nobody else that can be in our heads. There's nobody else can do our work for us and our love for us and our joy for us and, and, and walk through discomfort for us. We have to do it. We are alone in it, but we get to do it together. And it's all of us here.

people, people, people. And when I think of that and I ground myself into that and it's just each one of us at a time, then bring on the stadium. Bring on the stadium full of people. And if there are people that are weird enough, if you're weird enough to watch me on Instagram where I post my stories about my drippy eggs and I do weird dances in my kitchen and then I talk about yoga and then I cry about.

A tree being cut down, the main main tree, I think this last year and like, you're there for like my share about my mom dying. And then you're here for my relationship changes. And then I am like hosting a retreat and then here's a yoga pose. Let's talk about, and here's this deep philosophy idea that has like been on my mind. And if you're here for all of that, like you're the type of people that have all around me because you have some sort of weird, interesting, real part.

Bonnie (06:37.622)
of you, the see somewhere part of me. And you know, some people ask about trolls and about like, how do you, you know, how do you hold, you know, how do you respond to people who might not like what you're doing? And if they say things and you know, this is one of the things that I want to talk about today. So I want to share with you five lessons from being on Instagram. And this is not me trying to give you business advice or

Ways for you in particular to approach it, but these are my lessons that I've learned and There's like, you know, I have several bullets underneath each of these five points I probably will share some stories and perhaps there's gonna be some things that you can have as takeaways if you are interested in using Instagram or any social media platform to build something that lights you up to build something that turns you on because

Creative energy is sexual energy. I think sexuality is such an important piece of our lives as human beings, but I think tying those two together and using the language of like, I'm gonna be turned on, right? I'm gonna be turned on by my life and the ways that I create in the world. And it's gonna make me sit up straight and walk tall and feel fucking proud about what we're doing. And I feel really grounded in who I'm showing up as and that I'm showing up as myself and

that I feel really grounded in who I'm showing up for and how I'm showing up and why I'm showing up. And being grounded in those pieces which did not come at the beginning, but it's come over time and that I have allowed myself to be on a journey. I am in process still currently. I am still becoming this year that has come in like a lion after this last year that was really immense. And this year,

Be like, okay, yep, let's transform. And then here, let's grow.

Bonnie (08:39.542)
And let's see what we do with this growth. And how do we hold this with grace? And how do I allow this to be a place where in social media land, in podcast land, a place in my life where I can use the things that I have walked through in this past year to help others find their own freedom to move.

to own the hell out of their voice, to give themselves permission to pay attention to the things that light them up, because everything is a practice of paying attention. Everywhere, everywhere and all the time. So with that, and in celebration of all y'all joining all of me and all of our weird ass selves, doing the things that we love and building the lives that we're proud of and helping other people do the same on their way.

I'm going to give you five things that I have learned from being on Instagram. Number one, the first thing from my journey on Instagram is that it has been life changing. Truly that is my number one point. It has been life changing and not something that I expected. It has been a thing that I was invited into in a way. I had a friend who said I might enjoy it and I, you know, had a blog.

called Carrot Bowl, and I thought, great, I will be Carrot Bowl Bonnie, and it will be an extension of my blog, but then I found yoga, and then I started participating in yoga challenges, and I would talk to so many people online every day as I would practice, and I was running, and I was lifting, and I was doing yoga, and I was a mom of little kids. My youngest was three, my youngest is now 13, and

that I had the space and time to be able to show up, to do practice, to record practice. I started practicing just over 10 years ago at the same time as I started Instagram. So my entire practice has basically been videoed over 10 years, because I would set up a camera and then I would just practice and move and take screenshots and then post pictures and then...

Bonnie (10:59.412)
go and comment on other people's pages that were participating in yoga challenges. And I just did that a lot. And it felt really good to connect with people. I'm automatically like without any effort, I love to have my solo time and I love to have people and community time. So it was like this really beautiful balance of both of those things. And so I just kept walking forward and I tell people all the time, just like what's something that you could do that moves you forward, but doesn't burn you out.

And I think with Instagram, I just kept walking forward. I'm like, okay, this here and okay, this here and okay, this here. And you know, I started training people in my garage and then they wanted to learn how to do yoga. And then I taught yoga in my garage for a year, even though I told them I didn't know how to teach yoga. And they're like, just, you you teach, just teach us what you're doing. And I was like, great. So I taught for a year in my garage. And then all that time I was practicing yoga. was going to a studio and I was doing a lot of yoga because of online.

And then I got my teacher training and then I worked in some studios and I got, I have my personal training certification. like, I just kind of kept walking forward and there truly is no rush. There is no rush. And I let myself be in the discovery mode and connect with others and it has been life changing.

You know, in this past 10 years, I have gone through a lot of journey. And for some people, you've been with me this whole time where I have had a faith transition. I've left the Mormon church. then really yoga is a big piece of that because yoga taught me that the church didn't own my spirituality, but my spirituality belonged to me and I could take it anywhere. And then in this past 10 years,

my ex and I separated and we were together for 16 years and

Bonnie (12:59.466)
I have had such big journey in.

owning my sensuality and owning my motherhood and owning my entrepreneurship and owning my voice. And that because I have continually shown up and decided to be the most real that I could on Instagram, I have built a community of people who really give a fuck.

and connect with people where I am trying to connect and be more interested than interesting and to remember to listen. And I have learned from so many people and so many people who I've gotten to know in person that have changed my life that like, if I can't even imagine my life without Instagram.

having been a part of it because my whole life would be different, like truly different. And when my ex moved out just over five years ago, it was the same time that I started this podcast. It was the same time I started the first business offering on Instagram. I offered a six week mentorship for yoga teachers and I worked with four teachers. And then at this time in January right now, I offered

another mentorship and that was the second thing I offered online. was another mentorship for, I think it was another four or maybe five people and it was a 12 week mentorship. And then by the end of 2020, I had offered the first flow school and now it's 2025 and I'm going into the 20th offering a flow school, which I do in person and online. I do mentorship. I sell this podcast. have my sexy Sunday podcast. I've done some times I have done so many different events. I'm writing a

Bonnie (14:59.661)
book.

And there's so many other things I could list that like things that have come from being willing to put myself out there and to just show up and to be the awkward one. I think as yoga teachers and the amount of yoga teachers I work with, I love working with yoga teachers so much. And

we are the most weird in the room. And when we are the most weird in the room, it gives other people permission to be weird in the room. And if we get down on the floor and we're explaining things and it's like awkward and we're awkward, that's great because we're awkward. Humans are awkward. And to like let ourselves have the space to mess up, to try again, to say, don't know, but...

I can find out or to say that's not in my scope of how I can show up for you right now. And to be sincere and to be empathetic and to be listeners and to be leaders. And I have been changed because of the people in my life, because of Instagram.

And people will ask me, especially those who come to flow school and I got to be in person. I've had about, I counted through the day, I think it's like 86 people have come to in-person flow school over six in-person flow schools. And oftentimes people will ask when they come and say, is it weird that so many people know you? Or that I feel like I know you, but like you don't know me. Is that weird to you? How does that feel? And I often like my response is usually that it's not weird to me. I understand that.

Bonnie (16:49.864)
it feels like maybe you know me because I have shared so much of myself over podcasts and Instagram and email newsletters where I really love to write stories and I share quite a bit of what I'm learning in life on top of like any marketing for marketing, meaning invitations for participating in flow school or challenges that I offer or retreats, right? Those will also be shared via newsletter. And to me, it doesn't feel

Weird.

because I feel like I have shared so much of myself online that you've seen me in a lot of weird places. You've seen me in joy, you've seen me in grief, you've seen me do the funky dances, you've seen me be lit up. Like you've seen and heard me talk about subjects and topics that are, that's the same thing, subjects and topics. You've heard me like talk about.

so many different things and share parts of my life that are really tender and really powerful and all the ways and you're still showing up with me. You can hear me like talk about so much of my sex life on my Sexy Sunday podcast that I'm not currently doing but still is existent or the other podcasts, older podcast episodes here of let's talk about sex with my friend Taylor and like that whole realm, right? We can go down a big rabbit hole of...

of that and ownership of voice in regards to sensuality and sexuality. So that's like a whole thing. And me as a mother and so I think to me, it's not weird because if I can share so much of myself and you are still a yes, then you're my people. Like this makes me interested in you be like, who are you then? That you're like, okay, this.

Bonnie (18:45.622)
And how can I meet you and learn from you? And remembering that every single person that I meet, I have something I can learn from. I learn from them, right? And that when I walk into a room and if I'm creating some sort of container and space for people to gather, I'm walking in maybe with some things that I want to share and bring to that space. But all the people who are coming also have something to share that they are bringing to that space.

and I have something to learn from them. And so it's not weird to me. you know, I have watched, I've watched some people on Instagram who have shared a lot of their lives and then have died.

Bonnie (19:30.476)
And I think about these people and you can go to their pages where they're very much alive in their pages, right? But they are gone. And how this last year of death has been an interesting thing and how there's constantly in our lives, birth and death cycles. But on Instagram, you can go to people's pages who have passed. You can see them say things. You can watch their videos and read their words and look at their pictures.

And I think about my death. I think about how...

Bonnie (20:13.858)
Well, we're on point number one that I'm getting really long on and now I'm gonna cry. I think about how if I were to die tomorrow that my page would exist, my Instagram page and...

Bonnie (20:33.486)
Over 10 years of my posting and sharing would exist and

like the messages I've received from you all of how it has impacted you in the ways that I have shown up and how it has helped you step into your own life. How it has helped you free yourself in some way and own your voice in some way. And the gift of that to me that by showing up and

trying to be my most real self that it has in some way helped you give yourself permission to be your most real self.

and that if I were to die tomorrow that all of you.

would have had this small window to see me and maybe there's something there then that has carried you into this other version of you and

Bonnie (21:51.094)
And there's one of my favorite songs is by Lucas Graham and it's called Funeral. And the song is really about a celebration. Like I want it to be a celebration when I die that I lived and that I made a difference.

And like, hell yes, it should be a party because I was here. You know, that's kind of the message of it. And like, that's what I want. Like if I died tomorrow, you're going to play a funeral by Lucas Graham and you're going to, you're going to party that I was here. And like the gift that it is to me that, that we get to do this together. Cause it has changed my life. And it also gets to show my kids that there's.

another way to do it, right? There's another way to live and to build a business and to build connection. And everybody they meet, I love having in person full of school come here to Portland, because then everybody gets to come to my house and I make dinner and you hang out with my kids and me in my house. And it's so sweet. It's real. Like we are real. I am real and you are real and we are doing this.

Real humans. It's not just numbers. We're like real people, people, people.

okay. Number two. Number two is from the very beginning, I've always thought about what is the value for follow. If people are going to choose to follow me on this app, what is the value I'm going to bring to them? Because they don't have to choose this. You can click unfollow and you don't have to say anything. You can just like click unfollow.

Bonnie (23:47.67)
and go on, right? So if I am going to take up space in people's feet, they're going to keep swiping. and there's Bonnie. What is the value that I am leaving them with?

And you know, there's a quote that I have always enjoyed. It's like to not just be good, but to be good for something. And I think about how do we leave each other better because we passed by each other and that we can only give what we have. And so here I am being like, what do I have and what can I give?

And if somebody passes by me, how are they better because of it? And so what I share really matters then. And point number three, I'd say like the value for follow is followed right away with you get back what you give. And that is a lesson from Instagram, but it's also a lesson from life, right? So like what's the value for follow is like, how do I want to show up? How do I want to teach? How do I want to be real? How do I like...

Like all of these things, right? So that, but then followed by point number three will be like, you get back what you give. And I really think those are.

then maybe there should be the same point, I don't know. But you get back what you give. And the energy that I approach sharing and connecting people with is important.

Bonnie (25:16.684)
And that I know that as people's accounts grow, less people might know them more intimately or have been following them for a long time. So don't feel like they know them quite as well. So they might say weird shit. but like in general though, still, I'm just like, but you get back what you give. So what do I want to give? How do I want to show up? What is the energy that I want to bring to the world? And whatever I put out in the world is what I'm going to get back.

Might some people be weird asses and like do weird shit? Sure, but also like, what am I giving? And I think being really solid and thoughtful about what I'm giving and why I'm giving it is then really important because I'm not for everybody.

Maybe that's part of this point. Like I'm not for everybody. And I've loved human design. I talk about human design a lot. am, if you're a human design person, I'm a manifester. I'm a two-four manifester. I am somebody who is here to help other people own the hell out of their voice and their authenticity and their leadership. To remember they have nothing to prove.

and to step into telling their story in an abundant and graceful way and to really believe in their capacity to do the thing.

and that it matters.

Bonnie (27:00.962)
And that's really true.

I've watched some people who get maybe frustrated with Instagram or frustrated with the way that people are showing up or responding to them and we can do that. We can do that. But that takes a certain energy to do that. And I only have so much energy in this life. And you know what? My mom died four months ago and it was unexpected. And it really kind of sucks. And it also is this deep initiation to be like, this is

Our one life. have one life, one body. Whatever's after this, don't fucking know, right? I'm gonna be like little twinkles of light on this cute pond next to my house. That's what I'm gonna be. So, and an owl, on an owl's hoot. I love great horned owls and the way they sound, right? I'm gonna be that. So I have this one life and this one body, and what am I gonna make with it? And where do I wanna spend my energy and attention?

And who do I want to give it to and how do I want to give it to them? And so I get back what I give. That's truly like the amount of people that might come at me with something.

a little less than, it's very small. And because also I'm an and person, I like to look at things from multiple sides. I think there's so many ways to be right. So it's also really hard sometimes to fluster me in a way because I'm like, I can be like, okay, I hear your point. And what about this? And what about that? And what about that?

Bonnie (28:48.492)
So that exists.

and

Bonnie (28:55.69)
Yeah, you get back what you give.

And that doesn't mean that everybody likes me. That doesn't mean that maybe some people don't follow me just because like they're bothered by me, but they are still going to follow me, which is also okay because I'm okay with that. I'm okay with who I am and how I'm showing up. And I feel proud of myself. I feel proud of myself that I have continued to show up.

of myself that I've been fucking brave to step into some really uncomfortable places in this past 10 years.

and that I have let them break me open rather than close me down. And that in all of the business decisions, y'all, like, I mean, first flow school in person, first flow school online, I mean, like it continues to be more than the first, but just like all the things that I'm like, I'm like, I'm out here learning just like you, trying to figure things out just like you, getting my heart broken just like you.

Figuring out how to be a mom and messing up just like you.

Bonnie (30:14.241)
and

Bonnie (30:19.47)
And I'm still going on.

Bonnie (30:23.982)
And I'm proud of that. I'm proud of that. And I laugh about it and I cry about it.

We're just lucky. We're just lucky we get to do this.

And that's how I think that's just like how I love to show up. It's like like it's this past year has been.

has been so much.

Bonnie (30:53.612)
past 365 days. It's been so much and I like who I'm becoming.

of who I'm becoming and I feel grateful that I get to do it with you all next to me and that you're choosing to do it next to me in some way. Even by listening to this podcast in some way you're doing this next to me because I believe that if you're here in this moment that you could say you're proud of yourself for some reason. I hope you are. I hope you're saying you're like wow I'm proud of myself for. I hope you take the time and the minute to do that because

You're doing shit.

Bonnie (31:38.136)
You're doing it. Just like I'm doing it.

Bonnie (31:46.382)
proud of the person I'm becoming and it is not comfortable.

to step into owning yourself and your voice and your wants and your needs. is not comfortable. Owning your voice and owning who you are is an earned thing. You have to walk the path.

and it is nice to walk it with other people.

Bonnie (32:15.316)
And perhaps there's a lot of people that follow me on Instagram, but also my circle of trust and people that are really in my life that helped hold me is quite small.

And I do a lot all by myself and alone. And also I love being in community and getting to know other people. And it's balance of all the things.

Bonnie (32:44.782)
Okay, point number four is to play.

And I put this on here because I showed up on Instagram because it sounded fun. And I say this all the time to people who are like, well, how do I start using Instagram? And what do I do? What do I make? And how do I create? I'm like, what sounds fun to make? Because I can get lost in making a video for hours. I can sit and write a poem because I said I was going to post it.

And then I'm like, okay, well, I'm to marry to poem. I did a sexy Sunday poetry prompt for four years every Sunday. So every Sunday I was writing a poem and I missed that sexy poem. And I would sit down and I would write it. And sometimes I would write it on and off all day on Sunday. And so there was this creative part of it for me of showing up on Instagram that was part of the poll from the beginning. And so how do you play with this?

Because if you can't find joy in it, and yes, I'm not, like, you talk specific businesses. How does, I don't target want to use Instagram. That's going to be way different than me, right? So if you are a single creator and you're like, wow, I have a small business or I'm, I am have a, a service to offer. Like, how do I show up? And there's no right answer. And there's so many ways to be right. And also play with it.

Because if you're gonna be the one creating it and it doesn't feel fun to you, then the odds of you wanting to continue on are very small. So what is the type of content that lights you up? When you scroll by, you're like, ooh, that's pretty, or that's interesting, or that kept me watching and why? Ooh, what if I made something like that? What if I set something like that? Or how do I make it look like this? And you start to experiment. Everything is an experiment, loves. Everything is an experiment.

Bonnie (34:42.028)
And so I want you to do it for you first. I was creating because I thought it looked fun. I was posting something because I thought it looked beautiful. Look at the lines of that thing. Yoga is beautiful because of the lines of the body. Looking at bodies is fucking sexy. It's beautiful. It's like artistic. That's like part of the love of it is the visual piece of it. I mean, as a yoga teacher, I get to watch people move through what feels like a yoga dance. That is...

beautiful and their breath is synced and they're going through it in a classroom. I feel so lucky I get to witness that. And so there's a part of it that is the art of it. That's the beauty of it. That's the play of it. That has very much been part of my experience and why it continues to be exciting is because it's fun to create. And so let it be a creation piece. And if you're like, wow, I, that's not a medium that I enjoy creating in or that doesn't

It doesn't resonate. I'm like, okay, cool. There might be a way that you can make it be, or that you video yourself doing something that's like exciting. And then there's like, I mean, a whole rabbit hole that we could go down of how do you refine your...

visuals, right? And how do you make video and what's the sound like and, and when do you record and how do you post? And like, there's like all technical sort of things. Sure. But mostly play with it. Do it for you first and let it be a practice space because yeah, people might like scroll back and like click on a thing, but also whatever you posted like four days ago, if you're posting every day and even multiplying as a day, like

It's like back there. So just practice and put it out there. And you know, I like to think about how nobody really gives a fuck.

Bonnie (36:40.34)
If I post about my drippy eggs tomorrow, will you care if I post my drippy eggs and my stories? Will you care? Your honest answer is probably no, Bonnie. do not care about your drippy eggs, right? Like do your trippy eggs or don't, right? But I'm to post it maybe if I make your big tomorrow, because I like it because I think it's fun. And is that going to be the business approach for everybody's page and for every business? No, but we can talk about.

business and we can talk about personal pages. Like again, I'm not gonna, that's not the conversation, but just this idea that nobody actually gives a fuck. They are trying to figure out their own shit. So much so that you just go do your thing. Like make the thing that you wanna make, create in the way you wanna create, share it in the way you wanna share it, experiment. What? The worst thing is like, you have to delete it. The worst thing is like, you know what I've done? I have.

I have had times where I have shared a video in some course, I've done this several times, and where months later somebody says, did you know that you stop and start in this video, in the middle of this video? And I was like, my gosh. And I go back to that video and there's this very awkward middle part where I'm going through something and they're like, no, that's not it. And then I left the camera rolling.

And then I start saying it again and then I'm like, that's not it.

and then I start saying the thing again. It's like in the middle of video. I have done that more than once and hundreds of people watched it.

Bonnie (38:21.836)
And here I was in the middle of it being very real and very human and very much always in practice. And people being like, it's kind of like, it just like makes you real. Like the information is all there and that just makes you real. And I'm like, great, also I'm gonna edit that video. So what the worst is that you're gonna like mess up a word. Okay, cool. That means you're human, right? So I think it's funny and

That's part of the experience of showing up in a public way is that you're going to have experiences that you won't have otherwise. And so I don't know, people are so worried about their own things. And whether or not I post trippy eggs doesn't matter to you. So what feels like play to me and how I want to show up is going to be important because it's going to keep me coming back if it feels like I can lean into the fun of it.

So I say the word play all the time and this year I've declared it as the year of play and play is work, y'all, because it takes work to own yourself and to own what you think is play and to lean into the attention to play. It's very much work involved. And I think my last point will be that being on Instagram has helped me own it. Not own Instagram, but own myself.

because it's a place that I have gifted myself with where I cannot hide and where if I am showing up and teaching one thing and living another in some way, I feel it. And so the integrity that I call into my own life so that I can be...

and do what I invite you to be and do can be in alignment. And that if I ask you and invite you to own the hell out of your voice, which is a statement that I started saying about a year and a half ago, and I realized that's really what I've been saying all along.

Bonnie (40:35.526)
That is not small work. It is work that will break you open. It is work that will ask you to change in many ways, change your situation, change your life, change your mind. It will ask you to sit in the discomfort of who you are and why. And that if I am inviting you to own that, then I also invite myself to own that.

And by doing that, I can actually extend that invitation and I can hold you in that when you come to meet me in it. Because I cannot give what I do not have. And so if I'm inviting you in that way, I have to do that work as well. And that means I have to face the fear of being seen. Because if you're gonna own it, that means you have to identify what you want and what you need. And it is not small.

And showing up on Instagram has been such a mirror then to me of myself. And if I'm to show up and show my face in the first video that I ever made, I was so terrified. It was so awkward. I felt so awkward. And then I just kept doing it because the first times you do anything is going to feel ridiculous. It's not going to feel comfortable. It's not supposed to. It's new. If you haven't done it.

It shouldn't feel comfortable. It's new. I don't want you to laugh about that because like, I think we expect it to be easy or for it to just flow. And you know, I think of my, my 17 year old who was an amazing artist and he has a drawing up on his wall and he was like, I don't know. I was going to give it as a present, but it's not very good. I was like, oh my gosh, it's so good. He's like, no, a beginner could do that mom. And I was like, no.

actually a beginner cannot do that because I'm a beginner and there is no way in hell that I could do what you have done right there. Like you have to do it over and over again. You have to be willing to fail. You'd be willing to make a weird post and be like, well, that actually was kind of weird. What was I even saying right there? Or that was kind of soapboxy or that was like, I had like 15 typos in that or like, well that picture turned out weird, right? Like you're gonna have to like put out things in business.

Bonnie (43:02.168)
where nobody signs up. You're gonna have to maybe if in business, maybe you're gonna be like, well, I'm gonna spend this X amount of money and then it doesn't come back to you. You're like, wow, that was okay. It takes money to make money. Okay, cool, cool, cool. There's so many things that you're gonna have to face and you're gonna to let it be weird and you're gonna be seen. And you know what? There's this one person I read their bio and their bio they said,

It was something to the effect of.

Bonnie (43:35.38)
Dream so big that everyone knows when you fail.

Bonnie (43:45.87)
And that can feel terrifying, right? But it also can feel very exciting and that other people want to watch you win. And if other people are not wanting to watch you win and you know some people who aren't wanting to watch you win, those aren't your people. Which is kind of the gift of Instagram and social media is that your people is as big as the world. And I think often that we are really good

at creating small spaces for ourselves and thinking we should say small. And so I think social media is a reminder that it is a stage as big as the world and you get to be on it as long as you want.

Is once enough times to post? Is twice a day too much to post? What if I posted 10 times a day? Is that too much? Would anybody care? Does anybody else's opinion matter on that? Is that their page? Is there a rule about how much you can post and what you can post? I mean, Instagram has some rules about you can post, no nipples.

Bonnie (45:07.0)
But truly Instagram, social media, it's a, it's a stage as big as the world and there is no closed curtain because there's no closed curtain that can feel a little daunting. You're like, wow, it's always there. have to show up. have to show up. I have to show up because it's like still open and people are still coming there. That can be a whole thing and having some consciousness about how you use it for your own energy reserve.

for your own attention, for your own creativity, for like, when do you need to like get off the screen so you go make the cool shit, not just like watch the cool shit, so sure, yes. And show the fuck up, show the fuck up, right?

You have something that somebody else needs and their life is not going to be improved and amplified without it. I hold that as a truth at the same time as I hold. Everybody is fine without me already. I hold both of those because more than one thing can be true at the same time. So on one side, I think what are other people not getting how their lives not changed because I'm not showing the fuck up.

And I think that, and then I also think they are fine without me and I, and our whole without me. And I have nothing in me that needs to like change them or improve them or whatever, like whatever the fuck. But I hold both of those at the same time. What are they going to miss out on if I don't get over myself and get out of my own way? And if I don't own it and also their whole already.

and I show up and try to be in that very abundant, open-palmed, soft way of saying, we'll show up together and we'll see what happens. And that Instagram is a stage. And...

Bonnie (47:09.216)
If everybody's on their own little stages and we're looking across, like, hey, I like what you're doing over there. Can I come over and be on your stage with you? And you're like, yeah, that sounds fun.

Bonnie (47:20.632)
Like then that's fun. And we love going to plays and we love like seeing movies and we love like reading books and we love listening to songs. We love watching people on their stage. Confidence is sexy as fuck. We're attracted to confident people because they're lit up about their lives. They're turned on. They're turned on. You know the energy, right? You think your life is all like,

good and stuff and then you like meet somebody and you have amazing sex and you're totally turned on. You're like, well, I didn't think I had room in my life for anything else. But now that I just had amazing sex, now there's room.

This is what I think confidence is a little bit like. When I see people who are lit up about the things that they do, and it can be very different things than me. I'm so inspired by people who are doing very different things than I am doing. And I'm like that, like there's an energy to that. That's a turn on energy where I'm not like looking to like have sex with that person, but just that I am delighted to be in their company, to be in their energy where it's like.

Ooh, they love what they're doing and they see their value and they're proud of how they're showing up at the same time as they're learning because you can be a leader and still have a shit ton to learn. You're not gonna be perfect, but you're gonna keep on doing the damn thing, right? And remembering that there's nothing to prove.

Bonnie (48:56.942)
Part of this and owning it to me is also really staying connected to my own values. Because there can be a lot of voices and a lot of like, should I do this or should I do that? And for me, I have narrowed my values down to really being brave and curious. And how can I bring bravery and curiosity everywhere I go? And I think as a top that off is how do I bring

a kindness to that. And to quote Brené Brown, clear is kind, right? And being compassionate in the way that I show up. And that goes an extension to myself as much it is to other people, but to be brave and curious and compassionate is something that I think about in all the spaces that I'm trying to go to or be in.

Am I home?

at the lacrosse game, on Instagram, and flow school here on the podcast.

and just owning it. Right. And so I think that when we show up in those ways, how do we show up curious and brave and kind.

Bonnie (50:22.506)
and how do we give ourselves permission to dance our fucking dance on the stage and do it weird and do it beautiful and be proud of it. Be like, dang, look at that. That's pretty fun.

Bonnie (50:41.004)
This is it, right? This is it. This is our life. This is my life. And I'm here.

Bonnie (50:51.212)
And I'm really being in it. And it's not always easy to be in our lives. And sometimes we're trying to push out of them and off of them. Sometimes we don't want to walk through them. Sometimes things feel really heavy and really hard. And sometimes there's big changes happening all around us. Maybe it's politically and culturally, maybe it's in our families, maybe it's in our own personal lives and relationships. There's a lot. There's a lot.

But more than one thing can be true at a time.

Bonnie (51:29.134)
And as a gift, it's a gift to be here with you. And thank you for listening to some things that I have learned and some, I don't know, I guess the ideas that I have that I bring with me to Instagram, to everywhere that I try to show up, that my weird ass self somehow resonates with your weird ass self. I love that. Like lucky us.

Lucky us. Yeah, just.

This is real life. Thanks for being real. And truly, if you are called to work with me, to be in person with me, you know, I love seeing you in person. If you're listening to this and you ever run into me or you see me, please come say hi. I think it's so fun. It makes it real. think of when I go on social media and I go on Instagram lives and I'm like, this is making social media social. Like we're real humans here. Come say hi.

Come talk to me. And I love it when people like jump on and request to be in video and like say hello. like, if you see me in person, come say hi. Like I love it. And it's like, I'm just, I'm so real human just like you. That's 5.30 PM right now and I have no idea what I'm gonna make for dinner. So great.

I had to reheat my coffee in the microwave today, so you know, like it's fine. Oh gosh. Thank you. Thank you for being here and allowing me to celebrate you at the same time as you can celebrate showing up on Instagram for so long and.

Bonnie (53:34.112)
I hope that we get to be in community together. If we have not been yet, I hope we can be again. And if we have not yet, then maybe this year, maybe 2025 is the year. I have some things that I'm working on building that are very exciting and some more things for teachers for sure. And that's gonna be good.

And I feel really grateful for you all and really grateful for this space that I get to reflect in and connect with you. And I would love to hear from you. If you have anything you want to share with me, any reflections from the podcast, of course, you can leave a review of the podcast that helps other people find this podcast. Maybe if there's things that are takeaways from this reflection today that you want to share this podcast, then like, please.

That would be lovely. And if you want to reach out to me on Instagram or post anything about this on Instagram, fantastic. If you want to send me an email, hello at bonnieweeks.com, that's also open. Okay, 100K followers. Like, you know, that means something. And also I'm just getting started. I'll talk to you soon.