262 - Embracing Change: A New Year Reflection

Today I share my reflections on the past year, a big death and rebirth year for me. And I look ahead to 2025 that I've named my year of play. 

This past year has taught me a lot about love, transformation, and the importance of authenticity. About the sacrifices necessary for growth, the discomfort of being new, and the transformative power of grief. And the joy that can be found in new beginnings, community, and creativity.

I'm so excited for this year and the bigness of the energy I feel coming into it. It's gonna be so good.

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The music for this episode is Threads by The Light Meeting.
Produced by: Grey Tanner

Transcript

Bonnie (00:00.942)
Hello and happy new year. This marks the first podcast of 2025 and y'all, I am really glad to be here. I'm glad to be here with you. I'm glad to be here with me and feel really reflective on this past year and on the birth and death year that I declared it as very much like the lens that I put on to see the world this past year and

How birth and death is of course a theme everywhere, but I'm thinking about that. I'm thinking about what I hope to build and who I hope to be in this year. And I think this turning of one year to the next can hold a lot of anticipation and hope and sometimes grief. And so wherever you're at in this season, thank you for showing up with me. Thanks for being here. Thank you for leaning into yourself and your own practice of paying attention.

And however that is showing up in your life today. As I think about this past year and think about goal setting and thinking about.

What I want to build, it reminds me of a post that I saw from Alex Hormozi where he said, you know, write down the goal that you want and next to it, write down the thing that you're going to give up in order to do that thing. And on this theme of birth and death, I just want to bring that into this conversation because there's a lot of beautiful things that happened this last year that I want to share and

of like what we can build for this year and a couple nuggets for you. I think for me, I'm feeling a lot of joy going into this new year. I feel like a really big energy. Like there's a lot of things that are going to be built that I want to refine, that I want to experiment with. And I feel always like I'm just getting started. And I've been in business for a little bit of

Bonnie (02:11.05)
I've been in business online for over five years, which is amazing and I love it. And I am looking forward to refining how I do business. It feels very much like a baby learning grounds, but I've also learned some shit. So it feels really exciting and I'm excited to collaborate with some people and to bring some of their voices in. I love being able to bring...

other people into my sphere and to introduce them to the people that are paying attention to me and to be able to help pay them for their expertise and have them feel supported and then have other people feel supported by because they are introduced to these other amazing cool as fuck people. So there's just like a whole ripple effect that I am looking to bring to wherever it is that I'm standing. So thanks for standing here with me today and

for observing those ways that we have big things we want to build and to loop back to Hermosy about if there's something we want to do, then what are we going to give up next to it? And I've just been thinking about that as I have some big goals for this year. And the sacrifice that we have to make in order to do a thing. And not bad sacrifice, just that we can't do everything. Everything is possible, but you can't do everything all at once.

And even for all the things that I currently hold, I can't do all of the things at the same time. I want to full ass something and be like, okay, I'm all here full ass, let's send it. And then I will switch tasks and then do something else full ass. mean, that's the way you can drop into flow. That's the way that things feel most productive. That's the way people feel most seen. And that's the way that I feel like what I do is most sustainable for me. And so...

in this kind of idea of letting something be set down in order to pick up another thing, as Hermosy says, you're right, like here's a goal, here's the thing you wanna do or build or be, then what are you gonna have to set down in order to pick that thing up? It makes me think about being in a coffee shop earlier this week and I was thinking about decision-making, I was thinking about boldness and bravery and doing the damn thing and...

Bonnie (04:34.678)
the this phrase popped into my head and it is that at some point you decide that staying silent and not leaning in is more painful than the discomfort of being a noob or feeling like you don't belong. So again, at some point you decide that the discomfort, sorry, at some point you decide that staying silent and not leaning in is more painful.

than the discomfort of being a noob and feeling like you don't belong. And so many people that I work with, teachers and leaders and creatives who are feeling like, my gosh, I'm a noob. What do I know? How do I share my voice? What does that even mean? And how do I show up where I am more focused on authenticity over social conformity? How can I show up as my authentic self? What does that mean? And I think we have to get to the point where staying silent and not leaning in is more

painful than the discomfort of being new or being like

like unsure of your place in things. So you're like, wait, being a silent and not trying to do the damn thing, this is like more painful. So I'm just gonna step in and do it. And you have to get to that edge of you where you're like, what the hell am I doing? And I think so often we get in our own way. We are our biggest barrier sometimes. And so...

This is pep talk from Bonnie time, right? But I think I'm giving it to you because I give it to me. Anything I'm saying here, I'm going to say to my own damn self and say, okay, Bonnie, like where is it that being silent and not leaning in is more painful than the discomfort of you not knowing what the hell you're doing and feeling like, do I belong here? Can I say anything?

Bonnie (06:35.914)
Are you too new? Like the questioning that I might have and leaning in because it's more painful to not show up and be in the room because I want to be in the room. So I ask myself these same things. I give myself these same prompts and being stuck in decision land is the worst. I don't care if you're like thinking about your marriage or thinking about

or a relationship or thinking about a job change or where should you live or should you or shouldn't you have kids or like what are you gonna make for dinner? Like it doesn't matter being stuck in decision land where you're at the stale place where it's sticky or it's non-moving, it sucks. And it kind of eats at you a little bit. And so making the decision to move moves you.

And only when you then start to make the decision and you have to take a step forward and figure out is it, can I just take a small step and get more information and move forward that then you can start to unravel where it is that you need to step and to pay attention to the way that it feels to think about it, to feel it, to process it. It's that it turns into some beautiful things. And I know this feels

This feels a little philosophical is the way that I'm saying it. This isn't giving you a specific example.

But-

Bonnie (08:13.24)
I don't know, it gets uncomfortable. It just gets uncomfortable. I guess I just, you know, I think if you're listening to this podcast and I've had this podcast for over five years now and talking on it, I've gone through a lot of growth that has been documented here in a wild sort of way. And this past year has been really big for me.

really big and

Very transformative.

And I feel so initiated into my life right now because of my mom's death three months ago.

Bonnie (08:59.051)
And so I'm asking myself these questions of where Bonnie, where is the discomfort now worth leaning into because it's more painful to stay silent, to not try, to not be brave enough to try the damn thing even though it's terrifying, even though you don't know

what you're going to initiate in the world and how it might break it open. It might break us all open.

I remember going through a heartbreak years ago and how you have that actual feeling in your chest where you're like, think things are breaking inside of me. And feeling like the pain of that, of loss and grief. I'd also recognize it, as an aside, I'd also recognize it when I'd say something about what I wanted that was not true.

Bonnie (10:07.47)
So if I told somebody that, this is fine or do this or I don't care if you're, it's whatever this and, I didn't speak to what I wanted, I felt my own heart break that same way that your heart hurts when you're having a heartbreak from another person. I could feel that myself and be like, that's not true. I think authenticity over social conformity is truth telling to yourself and about yourself and it is.

Freaking hard work, y'alls. It is a daily practice of paying attention to yourself, to your body, to your wants, to your needs. And I think so much of wellness, so much of wellness, sure yoga and movement is a part of it, but I think a huge part of it is truth telling. I think a huge part of it being honest and not doing everything by ourselves.

being willing to show up and be the weird one and be the newb and to not stay silent and to be willing to be a learner in a space and put ourselves in places where we can expand. think wellness is so much about that. And if this is going to be a podcast and like the health and wellness sphere, like let that be part of the story here, you know? So, okay. I would do want to do a little recap of some beautiful things that happened this last year because you know what? I've, I've

There's been a lot of death of people that I've loved this past year, along with the dog and my grandparents and my mom and my dog and a cousin all died this past year. And that's a lot, but there was amazing, beautiful things. And even in those deaths, there has been beautiful things. My grandpa who died at the beginning of last year was a harmonica player and y'all, have been picking up

harmonica and I've never picked up a harmonica before in my life to like actually like play on but I have this very very tiny keychain one that I found in my kids room that they aren't using and I brought it down the kitchen I started playing on it and I have been loving it so much that I bought myself just a regular size harmonica and it's in the kitchen and like every day I'm picking up that harmonica and I'm playing it and it's so fun.

Bonnie (12:33.966)
And for the play experiment, there is going to be an opportunity to learn an instrument today. And there's a whole bunch of YouTube links that I'm giving people so they can like figure out what, like an instrument if they don't have an instrument for themselves, something that is easy that you don't have to go buy anything for. But I am gonna do the harmonica lesson from somebody on YouTube of like figuring out how to play some things. And I, it has brought me so much joy.

And it's interesting because I didn't do that. And it makes me think about my grandpa who was 100. And that's beautiful. That's really beautiful.

Bonnie (13:15.188)
So just this, you know, the thought that even though we set things down.

Bonnie (13:23.829)
they still

leave us with a certain sort of beauty if we're paying attention and looking for it. So some other really beautiful things that have happened this last year is that I started writing the sequencing book for yoga teachers. It is one of my big goals for this year to finish writing that. And this last year,

you know, I am so much trust of the creative process. I love the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and the idea that ideas are coming to people and want to move through and that this is an idea that needs to be birthed, needs to be birthed by me. And there's some, yeah, some really powerful things with it. And so this last year I started working on this book. There's a lot of pictures that are going to be, that are required for this book and

It's going to be more than a book too. think it will be, it's going to be a fun process. I love the creative process and working with people in that process. And so this past year as well, I had totally had a dream team to really work with and to start to build what this book is going to be and the possibilities of it. So it's very exciting and for yoga teachers for, and it's an atypical book.

it's not the type of book that is out there at all because other books are lovely and have a lot of different purposes. And this book though is about transitions. This is a transitions book. This is how to pay attention to the spaces between and how to build flow in ways that go past traditional yoga. And

Bonnie (15:17.71)
help teachers be able to find their own voice and personalize the practice for their students. So that is like, you know, something that was beautiful for last year and something that will continue to be beautiful for this year. Also last year I hosted four in-person flow schools, four of them. Like that is so many. The year before that, 2023, I did two. And that was the first year I did in-person. This last year I did four. And this year I am hoping as well to do four, maybe even five.

This last year I also hosted a retreat, which it has been since 2021, 22, since I did that last, something around there. And I had on top of that a beach vacation with my family that feels like it was so deeply meaningful and important given where other family things have unfolded now. I also traveled overseas for the very first time, out of the country, I went to Switzerland.

for a international flow school. you know, that was pretty amazing. Cause I stood there on the bridge, on a bridge there in Lausanne and the day before it started and just really took in the city and that moment. And it was kind of like a pinch me moment where you're like, this is what I'm doing with my life and understanding the impact of

low school on teachers and how they walk in the world.

after Flow School and who they meet in Flow School. It's so big and it feels like it needs me, but it's so much bigger than me. It needs me, but it's bigger than me. And the gift of being in this place and letting myself move with creativity and say like, this is where I'm needed. This is where my voice is needed. This is who needs me. And this is how we can work together. So,

Bonnie (17:19.47)
That was very exciting. And I went over to Switzerland. The person who hosted me at her studio had taken flow school online. Heads up that flow school online is going to begin the last week of February, 2025. And there are going to be some very exciting changes to flow school online. I am actually bringing on a couple of assistants to help me, which will be even greater feedback for every single teacher. We are going to have class and lab every week. So

is going to be super potent and very fun. Like I have the best Zooms. Like you're gonna have the best, most fun Zooms if you come and join me in full school online. So there'll be a link in the show notes so that you can sign up on the wait list. I will open up enrollment on February 1st. So that will be coming. So also this last year, I watched my oldest leave home.

graduate, leave home and thrive at college. He has only been at college for at this moment for a quarter, right? For like three months. But he's doing so well. And I think, you know, it felt like such a big deal and it is, but then my mom died the day before he left. And then it made him leaving be not quite so scary, right? And he's two and a half hours away and, and

It really is a gift. And my second oldest is, you know, halfway through the junior year and then he'll be gone. And, and

It's gonna go so fast and it is such a gift to be so intimately involved in the lives of these kids that I have and to watch them navigate the world and to bring their own spark to it. It's really beautiful. This past year I've also built some friendships that have been life changing, life changing.

Bonnie (19:28.002)
and grateful for following the ease and wherever that's shown up and where there was ease and flow in meeting people and where I said yes and the way that has expanded me. I'm really grateful for that and it's also really exciting. It was also terrifying but also exciting. I gave really

I think I might count it as my first public talk this last April, and I would so love to do more of that. And the talk was on building a creative life and owning your voice as part of that. So if anybody out there is like hosting conferences and has a stage and you want my voice on it, message me. Yeah, just gonna put that out in the world.

I also, you know, at this moment, you know, another thought that came to me this last year is like, you know what? I think I want to officiate somebody's marriage. I'm to put that out there. Someday. I think I want to be like officiate somebody's marriage. That seems really cool. So I'm to put that out there. Some other things that happened this last year was that I was really taught the gift then of time and attention through death, which means I was also

really taught about love.

Bonnie (21:00.302)
and you know those are life things. There is a whole lot of other small wins and projects and kid things and relationship things that I could add as like so much beauty for the year and like I mean

Damn, sometimes it's like the sunset when you're driving home and all alone in the car and you look out the window and you're like, what the, how is the sky so beautiful? Like there's so much beauty to be seen. And if anything right now, as I step into this year and declare it the year of play, really what that means is that I am going to be looking for beauty. And if you look for it, you find it. And that is where play lies. And so there's beauty in so

much. And as I move into this 2025 year, I'm feeling really grounded in myself, being really honest with myself, sharing my honesty with others and really remembering to examine my own relationship to wellness and making time for myself outside of anybody else and outside of having to hold anybody else. And I know that that can be really tricky.

as a parent, as a business owner, as a lover, as a friend, it can be tricky to do. And I think right now I just want to encourage me and you, all of us, to be honest about the things that we need that sustain us so that we can serve from the overflow. Because we have beautiful lives. And if you're here listening to this, then I think,

You're somebody who wants to build some sort of powerful legacy that has an impact on those around you. And we can't do that if we are empty and that we really want to lead from the overflow.

Bonnie (23:04.394)
And sometimes that's going to mean that we cannot stay silent.

and that we will face the discomfort of maybe being the noob in the room and having to be a learner, but being brave in that.

Yeah.

If you are stuck in decision land, I'm sending my hand, my heart to you.

Bonnie (23:36.238)
Mmm.

that you will be able to find a step forward that feels most easeful and soft.

And I know sometimes that it is not so easy to do, to take those steps, to make change. And I know very well the ripples that come when you decide to break yourself open. I know that. I am sending you so much love and grace in your journey and in your flow.

And I am so excited for this year. I'm excited for the way that we will continue to show up here together on the podcast and the guests that I'm going to bring and the conversations we're going to have. And thank you. Thank you for being here. I would love for you to hear from you. If you are ever feeling like something is lighting you up from something you hear on the podcast, me a message.

You can find me on the gram at carrot underscore bowl underscore Bonnie or email me at hello at bonnieweeks.com. And as always drop a note as a review on the podcast. helps other people to be able to see the podcast cause then there's more reviews on it. They're like, this is a podcast to listen to. So if there's other people that you know in your life that are yoga folks share this podcast on the gram, like shout it out. And because you know what? I think that you probably know some people that are like,

Bonnie (25:11.566)
I'm gonna just be quiet over here and not share my voice. And you're like, no, you have something. You have something to share and let the discomfort be the winner. Don't let the discomfort be the winner. Face the discomfort, lean in and make a fucking beautiful life. Yeah? Okay, y'alls until next week.