259 - Authenticity on Social Media

How we we cultivate authenticity? And why do we need it on social media?

Some of the ways I've learned we do it: by facing fears, claiming our voices, playing, and experimenting. And to do a lot of that, we have to give ourselves permission. 

For me, authenticity is about being more of you, not imitating others. And when a lot in the world encourages us to be like others, to fit in boxes, we often have to be the ones to allow ourselves room to do something different or to expand.

Social media can be a powerful tool for exploring authentic self-expression. It's a stage where you can share your unique story--and create connection and community. And we need both to thrive--individually, collectively, and in business. 

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The music for this episode is Threads by The Light Meeting.
Produced by: Grey Tanner

Transcript

Bonnie (00:00.846)
Hello loves.

I had a Zoom call with somebody who was in flow school yesterday because anybody who comes to flow school, then they get a one-on-one with me afterwards as part of the flow school experience, like on Zoom after our week in person together. And for this is in person and in person flow school also we have Zoom meetings afterwards as a group to kind of share about experience afterwards and to have some more learning experiences together.

So yesterday I was talking with a teacher and she had a whole bunch of questions, not about teaching. And I love that, you know, she had, she has a book that she wrote this year and she wants to build a social media page and a brand. And so she came to me and was asking me about brand building and about authenticity and about authenticity showing up in social media land.

And a podcast, think, and I don't know that we necessarily think of a podcast as social media, but really it is. Like here we are in social media consumption. I think we most often think about is TikTok and Instagram and probably YouTube and you know, just like these other kinds of video experiences, but now podcasts you can watch the video of. So it's still, think, social media land. So how do we show up here and be authentic? And so she had a bunch of questions for me I...

I've just kept thinking about it. And so I'm gonna bring it to us here today because perhaps you have some questions around business building and authentic and the authentic way that you're trying to figure out what that means to you and how to do it that makes it feel like it's from you, right? Cause it's not about

Bonnie (01:58.944)
showing up like me. It's not about showing up like whoever else's page you're scrolling by or whatever YouTube you're watching or whatever podcast you're listening to. It's not about being like anybody else. Authenticity is really about being more of you.

And I think that's one of my favorite parts in all that I do and all that I offer and all the experiences I offer is about helping people direct their perspective and their vision from looking outwards to looking inwards and saying, wait, what about me?

and letting your voice be figured out from the inside out. And that there's some really powerful things that come out of working together. And what I really believe is a gift that I arrived in the world with and how that supports the people that work with me. And so I'm gonna get into that, but I would like to talk today about authenticity on social media. And then after I share the things, if you have questions, then...

you can email me, right? Hello at bonnieweeks.com. You can message me on Instagram at carrot underscore bowl underscore Bonnie, caribou Bonnie, or you know, post something, tag me in it. Share this podcast on your stories, right? About authenticity on social media and yeah, let me know. So there's always an open door for that.

And I also love reminders. So if you ping me, ping me again. If I don't respond back, just send me another message. I'm here. Okay? So authenticity on social media. Let's rewind a little bit because people have often told me that they feel like I'm really authentic. And one, I'm like, well, I hope, like I think all of us, which is probably why I get the question all the time. We want to feel like we're authentic. We're like, people know.

Bonnie (04:03.478)
who I am or understand where I'm coming from, I'm to use I as like the collective. Like we all want to like, want people to be like, okay, this person means it in this way. They're not faking it. This is who they are. This is how they show up. This is, this is somebody who doesn't feel like they're hiding anything. And when people feel like they're not hiding anything, there's so much freedom you can feel. And so if your experience with me is that you feel like I'm not hiding anything. And so there's this sense of freedom that I am exuding.

And that that's maybe a piece of what is attracting you to me in that way. Then I say this all very just like, like this is some of the language that I have heard. as people reflect about their experiences with me, but if that is all true, number one, I am grateful because the work that I have done on the inner work and continue to do in this year has been a big one to give myself

permission.

and then to show up and to stay curious and brave in that is a lot of inside work that not everybody sees. And I have done and I'm doing a lot of that. And so if that is able to be perceived as a sense of boldness and grace and freedom and compassion at the same time, that is a gift to me.

to have that as a reflection back and that that is truly what I hope to give. And so I feel confident in my like wanting to hold those things. like, yeah, want, like, of course I want you to feel that from me. wouldn't that be amazing if we could feel that from everybody, if everybody that we meet.

Bonnie (05:58.532)
they exude a sense of like freedom and like do your thing and I wanna celebrate you and champion you and how can we support each other? And you felt that with everybody? Like what kind of world is that? So if that's the feeling like 100 % I wanna lean into that and that it is my goal, it is my mission, it is the thing that I can't not do inside of me to help amplify other people.

to live in that same sort of experience and permission for themselves. And y'all, it is a journey. And it is not a fast one.

Bonnie (06:33.39)
So for me, a little backstory and a couple maybe tips if you are on your own journey of authenticity and using social media as a place to deliver your message and to serve others and to connect, yeah?

I have been on social media for 10 years. I've been on Instagram for 10 years and I thought it was going to be for food blogging, which is why I call myself Carrot Bowl Bonnie. Carrot Bowl blog does not exist anymore, but I loved that for a hot minute. And then I found yoga right away and I found yoga Instagram challenges, which don't really exist a whole lot anymore. And I would participate in a lot of them. And

I remember the very first challenge that I participated in. I actually didn't post anything because nobody really checks if you post. Like you could just totally do it under the radar. But I just did it silently off line and I did the things and I started practicing. And then the next one that came around that I was like, I'll do this one. Then I joined it publicly, used the hashtag and showed up and like shared pictures and

And I think that...

that was an important piece where it's like, you know, I'm just gonna share it. Like it was kind of scary the first time, the first time there was the challenge, I was like, I don't know, who am I? Like, how do you do this? I don't know how to do a challenge. Like, what does this mean? And so I just kind of watched it and then I joined. And from there, I just kept posting and I post up to five times a day and I get a message like 50 people and I had this space and time to do that and it was interesting and I was like, you have to let yourself be obsessive.

Bonnie (08:21.078)
And if you're interested in using social media for business and building a brand where it feels authentic and on purpose and you wanted to have an impact that helps amplify others, then like, how do we do that? And I don't believe there is one way. I think that's really important. I try to say all the time, especially when I work with yoga teachers, that there's more than one way to be right. The way that I teach yoga in one class, it might look different than another class.

I might teach you how to do a thing in flow school, but there's a lot of ways to personalize that and to funk it up for your own self and to weave together all the different types of yoga trainings that are out there. And there's more than one way to be right. So there is not one way to be authentic. And I think that needs to be really said that authenticity is really...

an ongoing process, kind of like the same as how do you own the hell out of your voice? I think those things are synonymous. Like how do you be authentic? How do you own your voice? It's the same thing. I don't think we're ever done because I think we are constantly in process. We're constantly in discovery of who the fuck am I? What am I doing today? How am I arriving? Like it's all of these things and we're always in the discovery mode if we're paying attention.

So don't let that be disheartening though. They're like, okay, great. I never will arrive. Like, do I even, why do we even start then? And you start because you're not gonna be the same person. Like if you start paying attention now, a year from now, you're gonna be like, wow, I'm really grateful for that past self who started paying attention in different ways because now I am this person, right?

So with that, I was on social media. I was making some yoga pictures and I gave myself permission to play regardless of who was watching.

Bonnie (10:22.82)
Okay, again, I gave myself permission to play regardless of who is washing. If you are building a business brand, businesses can look very different from each other. And if it is like a product or you're a service base where like you're the face of everything, like there's gonna be some variance in those things. But if you have your own personal page, you can also practice some of these things and hone the skill of showing up.

on your personal page, not just even on a brand page. So there's gonna be some wiggle room in this, but how can you give yourself permission to play regardless of who's watching? Because even if you are going to, let's say you're gonna, you wanna have a mushroom elixir brand that you wanna build and you wanna share mushroom elixirs, cool, okay?

It's you want to build that page, but you also have this personal page you've been showing up on that's like friends and family, maybe some yoga friends and you like show your kids up and like what you're doing in your life and then some yoga stuff every once in a while and maybe your mushroom stuff every once in a while. But it's also maybe a place where you're like, well, can I really like show this part of myself? Because this is all my friends and family and do they really want to see that of me?

Like they're like, what are you doing? And like, why are you making that elixir? And like, what's this yoga pose? And like, what are you getting into? Like what's happening here? And talk to a lot of people who feel a lot of stickiness with showing up and the questions that maybe other people come at them. And so that's really an important thing to note is people will respond to you in your freedom and in your permission giving to yourself. And you don't know how they're gonna respond. And so there is going to be this

awareness for you that if you show up and you're like, you know what, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do yoga poses on my Instagram account for the next 30 days. I'm gonna post them. I'm gonna use it as an accountability place. I'm gonna make your mushroom elixir and I'm gonna use that. I'm gonna do that for the next three years. I'm gonna do both and I'm gonna post twice a day with yoga and mushroom elixir. And maybe I'll post my kids and maybe I'll post like what meal I'm making and maybe I'll post like this cutie picture with my lover and maybe I won't. And that's my friends and family and some coworkers and you know what?

Bonnie (12:37.742)
I don't know, this is what I wanna do. You have to give yourself permission to play, regardless of who's watching, and do it in a way that makes you feel safe, and also know that if you show up doing the thing that you want, doing the thing that lights you up, even if it's not for making money and it's just for funsies, then other people, they might feel something with that. That's not about you though, that's about them. And I want you to hold that with a lot of grace.

And that is easier said than done. But people, you I think we can layer on, I've watched my kids do this actually. I watched one of my kids respond to something my other kid did and I'm not gonna name any names or ages for my children to call them out. But one of my kids, I listened to them say how they were embarrassed for my other kid.

because of like a situation and like how they responded or a thing. But like that my second kid or like the second, the first kid responded and the second kid is this, right? So the second kid actually didn't feel anything. Like they didn't care. They weren't embarrassed by it. But the first person like responded, like they felt the vicarious embarrassment. But the second person didn't give a shit.

And so it is okay if some people don't feel comfortable with the way that you are showing up, you can still show up that way. And it might take a little bit of like a little moment of introspection of being like, no, it's okay. And sometimes it's really helpful to find other people who are showing up in ways that you want to and be like, okay, they're doing it, I can do it. Like, I can do this. I thought about that when I was.

having a baby, right? I'm like, okay, other people have had babies and lived and like, all here and like, my gosh, all these, all these people have had babies. And like the solidarity in that, that you're not alone in that. So find some people where you're like, I'm not alone in this, right? So to give yourself permission to play regardless of who is watching. And I did that. And that was like, then when I think back of like baby steps, how do you start to do that? And how do you start to build the muscle of giving yourself permission?

Bonnie (14:58.23)
And how is that going to change your life? Right. And then, you know, as I kept showing up on social media and followed people who I was inspired by, who felt like a little, like, like, called out by, but like not directly. And I remember this one person. I said, like, you know, what's behind the quotes? Like, why are you just sharing a quote? Like who else is in there? And why did that quote even speak to you? And I was like, okay, you know what? I'm to start writing for real. So I started.

using Instagram to write and really is the place where people read words. And sometimes I see posts where like, is anybody reading on Instagram anymore? And y'all like we read, we read on Instagram. Also, sometimes it's really annoying. This is going to be an annoying thing out there, but reels, like if you type on a reel, you have to scroll it up on a page. And some people put text at the bottom of a reel. This is like such a, like a techie sort of thing. But if you put text on top of your reel picture and you put text in your reel that you have to scroll on, you cannot read shit. That's a, it's text on text.

So like, know how Instagram works so that people can actually consume your content and do that better. So that's its own sort of technical sort of note. But I started writing on Instagram. Started using that as a place to share thoughts. And if I was gonna share a quote, like why did that quote speak to me? Why did that matter? And...

rather than thinking of it as a preaching stage.

Bonnie (16:30.872)
where sometimes we can just give the antidote that we learned. And I'll read, I I can't, I try to do this as a lens for my own things that I share, but there's no story in an antidote. It's just the don't do this or this will happen, right? Okay. But like, how did you get to that? Like what's the story behind that? Like, how did you find that that was the solution to not do this? Cause then this will happen. Like, tell me that. What was the process of this unearthing?

because that's where the human is. And where there's a human, there's authentic living. And there's your voice. And it can be scary to own our stories and own the way that we think and own the way that we mess up and own the way that we dream and own the way that we desire and own the way that we feel pleasure. It can be scary to do that. But that is also a place of authenticity. And so I started writing, not just quoting.

And that was a way that I started tapping into my authenticity. Again, this is a 10 year experience. And it's really weird for me to like reference that and where it feels like hardly any time, but it's also been a chunk of time, right? And then I started saying, why not me? Why not me? This is again, a version of permission giving and that has looked like a lot of different things over a lot of different experiences and.

I run into it all the time. It's like, why not me? Like you can always say like, why me? It's also, but that's also important. It's like, why you? Like, why should we listen to you? Why should we listen to you? I say this to teachers all the time. All of us, they all force it in a room together. I'll say like, we all here can teach warrior two. So why the fuck are we all needed? Why is it important? Why you instead of me? Why me instead of you?

And it gives us the opportunity and asking that to say, well, why the fuck not me? And what do I bring to the table? And a moment for you to say, well, like, wait, I'm actually really good at, and then fill in the blank. And please use that as a journal prompt for tonight. Be like, you know what? I'm really good at, and then fill in the blank as long as you want. What are you good at? And like own it and claim it a little bit. And you don't even have to share what you wrote down with anybody.

Bonnie (18:58.988)
And maybe you want to write it as like a declaration where you're like, I don't know if I'm good at this, but this is what I want to be really good at. And let yourself claim something. And I think we can be so fast to apologize for ourselves and praise others. And what happens when we claim a way that we're showing up in a world with grace and compassion, but knowing the impact that we can have if we just open the door and stand there with each other.

That's the spirit of the I'm really good at that I want you to hold is like, what are you good at? Because I can't do this alone and you can't do this alone and we need each other and we need each other to be good at a lot of different things in order to do it all together. So then with this, I started reaching out to people. You can literally DM.

Anybody online, anybody, DM anybody. Doesn't mean that they're going to respond, but you can have a conversation with anybody online. So why don't you?

Who do you wanna talk to? Go talk to them. Will they respond? Not sure.

What happens though when you stop thinking about it and just go do the damn thing?

Bonnie (20:25.935)
So talk to them. So I start reaching out and would, and stories are amazing for this, y'alls. If you're watching people's stories, drop a note in that comment box at the bottom. That's so easy. It responds directly to something that they're posting. Great, right? Make it really relevant. Give them value for a response even, right? So it's relationship building. Social media is relationship building. And I think all the time, how to make social media social, how to like really show up.

and be with each other.

So reach out to people. And I think in this whole process, I really have tried to stay curious about what I wanna build and didn't try to rush it. And I still very much feel that. I do have some experience now to know where I wanna go a little bit, but there's still not a timeline.

And I know the ways that I make decisions best and I know the way that I know where I'm not very good in business and I know some of the ways that I'm getting better in business. I know some of the things I am good at and I know where, so I know where I can grow. I know where like I need help. I know that I can't do it alone, but I'm not trying to rush anything either. And that's really important because I'm trying to rush something that I'm not creative anymore. Then like the pleasure dies.

And then it's feel like burnout. And then it's not gonna feel sustainable. And then I have forgotten to play. And play is imperative. It's imperative. Truly, if you're gonna do business, and this is a plug, in January, it is a month-long challenge in a way, because we're gonna do something daily, but we're calling it the Play Experiment. So it's a month-long play experiment. I'm hosting it with my friend, Gray, who is incredible. You're going to love her.

Bonnie (22:24.948)
And I am especially building it for anybody who feels like, great, now I'm gonna hit burnout if I keep on going like this, or I'm already there, or I'm trying to build something for other people to have big impact, but how do I hold myself in this? How do I hold myself when I give, if I wanna give myself permission to be more authentic, how do I do that? And so we are going to give you tools of play, along with the psychology of holding yourself

in that permission giving. It's gonna be fucking amazing. It's a month long, where it includes a Zoom weekly, where we have a play experiment that we'll do like together, but like it's gonna look different every week, along with space for PlayPod and PlayPods and conversation in there. So that is going to be dropped. Like you're gonna be able to sign up for that this next week as I'm posting this. So that's gonna start January 1st, 2025. And because...

All of this, I'm not rushing. I'm staying creative and finding play is really important.

Bonnie (23:38.788)
You I think the phrase, you know, get out of the box and you're in the box and like you're boxed in like that whole phrase. think nobody wants to feel that. Like, do you know a single person that's like, I want to be in the box. I want to be like a square. I want to be like, I don't even know. Like, I think we all don't want to be boring.

I think we all want to feel individual. I think we all want to feel loved. I think we all want to feel seen and heard for who we are. And I think authenticity is like trying to unearth like how to help people see that and to know that we're not like stuck in the box. And so yeah, there's nobody in there who's like, put me back in the box. I mean, there can also be safety feeling in the box, but

comfort and safety and like non-movement is boring and will also burn you out because you can't grow in a box. You can only grow so big in that box that box isn't grown with you. You're gonna have to get a different box. Get rid of the box altogether.

So I had to stay curious about what I wanted to build. didn't try to rush it and I'm still figuring it out. And I have leaned into people and processes that have taught me more about myself. And some of that looks like the self-development sort of things and leadership things and human design and language. I like strength finders and different coaches and different ways to describe different systems and

people who have believed in me, mentors and teachers and friends and lovers. And it's having these people as well that I have allowed to be teachers to me to help me discover like, who am I in here? And what gifts do I have? And allowing other people to reflect back to me what gifts I'm arriving with in the world and to be able to sit with myself enough.

Bonnie (25:54.348)
and solo time is so important. Go for a walk all by yourself. Listen to a meditation as you take a seat, sit your ass down, meditate, meaning like listen to something or just like count your breaths for two minutes. Just let yourself be alone to be in that process. And yes, get down on the ground. So to really sit with myself and say, what do I want? And who am I?

and building a language, like a language bank to describe things. And so let's say you teach yoga here, right? And if you teach yoga, you can say,

If you wanted everybody to stand at the top of the mat and you want them to fold forward, I could say fold forward. I could also like, it's a fold forward, right? That if I was like, okay, you're standing upright, now fold forward. I can also call out Uttanasana. So like referring to a forward fold as in Sanskrit, I could say hinge at the hips. So your head goes down to the ground, right? And take your

like the superior part of your head and aim it at the floor. That'll be like the top of your head. So these are all just different ways of saying fold forward, but they're different words and to describe that experience of standing up and then folding forward. And so just like there's different words to describe that experience, it's the same way as different sort of understandings about yourself and using.

Like I think this is where spirituality comes in and this connection to ourselves, this connection with others and connection to the world at large, like that's just me, spirituality. And it was very much about me connecting to myself and discovering what it is I have in me and who I am and how I arrive because I cannot give what I do not have.

Bonnie (27:58.956)
And if I tried to show up and give something I didn't have, it wouldn't be authentic.

So you gotta, if you wanna teach something, if you wanna lead something, you've gotta have it.

Bonnie (28:11.94)
So human design really has been one of those things more recently that's been helpful, but there's like so many books and you know, I somebody recently on a live where I say, I call it make social media social and just have conversations there. And somebody asked me like, what's a yoga philosophy book to begin with? And I was like, I don't know, I'll Mary Oliver's poetry.

I think there's so many things. I started and I've listed things that I've thought of more things since like the book of joy at the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. That was another one that came to mind. I was like, there's, you know, there can be direct yoga philosophy books that yes, I've also been, I looked up, I ordered a bunch of tantra books and I'm like, okay, this is interesting. Tantra with Osho and the ecstasy of creativity. I think that's what the one is called. I don't know. So there's so many books.

I just think it's about picking one and reading it. Like just pick one and start. And let it be something that helps you find more language to describe your experience and maybe yourself and maybe how you want to show up in the world. And you know, some of these things are like internal work things, but I think we don't always think about those things. We really are thinking, well, how many times do I post?

and what kind of content do I post and how do I video the things? And those are important questions and answers to you because it gets the thing done. But how are you gonna show up and make content and share it without going into like full panic mode if you haven't given yourself permission to do the thing, right? So I'm gonna talk a little bit about some of these things like some of these other pieces too, but they all play together. think.

These are important to talk about authenticity and showing up. So did I do the scary thing and make videos of myself talking? Yeah, I did. And the way I showed up and talk on Instagram now and social media and Raven right here on this podcast is totally different than when I first started. When I first started, it was awkward and weird and not, not like what it is today and doesn't have the ease like it is today.

Bonnie (30:23.576)
So it's gonna be weird. It's gonna be weird. And you might face a bit of fear. You might have to watch your mouth move and you're like, well, my mouth moves weird. And I have to watch my mouth move all the time. I can tell that my teeth aren't perfectly straight. I can tell that my nose has its own character. I can like see the aspects of my face where I'm like, well, that's not perfect. But also I like my face.

And also I'm having a lot of fun over here, right? So you can see your face, but you're going to have to befriend your face. You're going to have to befriend your voice. You're going to have to befriend your mannerisms. If you want to show up, you have to befriend yourself. That is no small task. it will be, and it might be scary. And it might be scary because it's you and it might like you to you. And it might be scary because you're like, my gosh, other people are going to judge me.

And how are they going to show up and are they going to say something? And if they're my peers or family, like then they'll say like, who the hell are you to do that? And you're going to have to say like, well, why not me? I'm standing it. And so you can play with this little bit at a time. You don't have to throw yourself full in. Like what would feel most comfortable that would not burn you out. That would, that you can hold the response to however somebody comes back from you sharing a quote about mushroom elixirs.

And then in the caption, you say why that's important to you. And maybe you share that, if it's the mushroom elixir idea. And then you see the response. And then you're like, okay, I didn't die. So I could do that again. Or maybe I could do this other thing. And you just grow a little bit at a time. There's no rush here. So do the scary thing. What thing feels scary right now?

but it's also gonna be okay, and it's just scary, because it's new and it's uncomfortable. And so I made videos of myself talking and they were awkward, and it's something different now. And I shared selfies, and I made podcasts about my divorce. Podcast number four is like when I announced that I was getting divorced, which is just over five years ago that I posted that. And I made podcasts about sex, and I made like, and there's sex episodes here on.

Bonnie (32:44.192)
on Yoga Strong where I was doing the monthly with my friend Taylor and then we like broke off and I did the whole podcast, which I don't have episodes coming out for that one right now, but it's called a sexy Sunday with Bonnie. So if you can go look that up. And there's just so much that I didn't begin with all of this though. I began terrified as I was making a 15 second video on my couch and I rerecorded it like 12 times and it was awkward. And that's where I began.

and I did a little bit at a time, a little bit at a time, and a little bit at a time, and I chose to not be afraid or to meet the fear when it arrived. Guys, it is, there's a lot we could be afraid of. There's a lot we could be afraid of. And it is hard sometimes. And it's emotional work.

But one of the things that for me that I've heard people before say like, actually I'm kind of scared because what if people are really mean? And what if there's a lot of trolls?

And you know, that is not what I, that's not my experience. I have 99.9, 99,900 followers right now on Instagram. I do not get trolled for the most part. Every once in a while, there might be something that somebody says, but mostly if somebody says something, I'm like, wait, what? I try to respond to it with an open door.

an open door meaning like, okay, I see you, I hear you, and what about this? I try to give people an and all the time. And I'm also very aware that what I put out, I will get back. So what are the posts that I'm sharing? How am I sharing the things that I'm sharing? What kind of conversation starter am I giving rather than a definitive?

Bonnie (34:47.146)
And that's my own personal take and yours might be different. But for me, I'm like, if I'm going to share content, I want there to be value for follow. And I've always thought that from the very beginning, I am there for who is with me, not for who is not with me. That has always been my focus from the very beginning. I'm like, I don't care about who's not here. I'm only here for anybody who's following. If people want to choose to be here, great. I am here for the people who are following and getting the value for their follow because I'm taking up space.

I'm taking a space in their feet as they scroll in their brains and their attention. Like, how is this going to be valid valuable to you right now? If you're listening to this podcast, this is valuable. Real estate. is your attention. Hopefully then this is going to be a piece of you giving yourself permission though. It is value for anybody who's listening to the podcast. I'm not making this for somebody who's not listening to the podcast, right? Like that sounds ridiculous. So create for the people who are there. If you're a yoga teacher.

And you want to grow your students, don't post for other teachers, post for students. And what I mean by that is I want you to imagine people in the front row of your class or the person in the back left corner, second mat in, the person who's showing up. You're like, I know exactly what Bob and Darla, I know them in class. I know what their bodies look like. They've been practicing with me for a while. I'm making up these names, right? But like just pick some people in your class.

Name them and you know what they need. What would help them? They're not going to see you. They just practiced with you yesterday and they're not going to see you until next week. Let's say that they are with you on Instagram. What would be helpful for Bob and Darla this week? Give Bob and Darla something. So being authentic in Instagram and business, there's a piece of it of like being authentically you and showing up, but then also getting out of the way.

and being authentic in business and making it not about you, make it about Bob and Darla, make it about like what really would help them and be with them, not speaking at them, but being with them and creating something with them in mind and to visualize them. And then that same idea applies to any industry that you're trying to work with. And so I do that all the time. Like right now as I am...

Bonnie (37:13.142)
as I'm speaking in this podcast, like I listen to podcasts if I'm on walk or if I'm in the car, if I'm doing the dishes and I'm like imagining myself in those ways. And then I'm imagining you and just like the random use like people I'm like, man, I could drive by somebody and they could be listening to my podcast. Like what the, and so like visualizing that and saying, how do I show up right now and be with you? Right?

and

If you're doing all of these things and paying attention to all these ways, I want you remember that social media is a stage as big as the world. And that could be either terrifying or be exciting or see both. It is a stage as big as the world with no rules on how long you can be on it. You could post 10 times a day.

And nobody fucking cares. It is your page. It is your life. It is the thing you feel called to share and the way you want to be. You get to do it. You get to make the rules. You get to show up. You get to be obsessive and give yourself permission to lean into the impact and the voice you have to share with the world that will help amplify the people around you. You can do that and you can do it as much as you want. And it's going to require you to own your voice.

and to be in yourself to do that. But it is literally a stage that is free that you can get on.

Bonnie (38:49.668)
So I don't worry about trolls. I don't worry about people that are going to come. And also I have been here for a minute and like grown with this. So pay attention to what you put out and the tone that you're putting out in. And when I see pages where people are complaining or like really frustrated on something, then that frustration comes right back in comments. And then that person makes another post and becomes like this churn that has a texture that you're like, ugh, it's like heavy. It's like, it's not even, this can't move anywhere.

I wanna create places where people feel freedom to move. That's what we're doing.

And then if you're gonna be making content, you're like, well, how do I make content that feels like me? Start to pay attention to what you like. How do you like it when people show up? What makes you pause and stop and be like, ooh, that's cool. that's interesting. What makes you actually do like the scroll through real, like real slides where you read the things. Which ones do you read and why? What do you think is beautiful? I don't think it was.

Talk about beauty, what do you think is beautiful and why? And does that matter to you? And allow yourself to mimic things. Say, you know what, I'm gonna try that format on. Try it on. Try it out, see how it feels. Then try on something else. Don't just try on one, try on a lot of things. You're gonna try on a lot of things. Again, it is a free stage. Do it as much as you want.

So you can figure out what it is that feels like you're like, yeah, yeah, that actually feels good. I'm gonna mix a little bit of that and a little bit of that and like here and maybe a little sprinkle of that and then here I am, right? So what are you interested in? And then create that.

Bonnie (40:37.214)
One thing that is interesting to me that I have really learned this year in particular, because I declared this year a birth and death year, and the year has really delivered in that. In some very literal deaths, some unexpected deaths of loved ones.

And then also in births and deaths in different experiences, in parenting, in business, in like, there's like so many different layers that I thought this year would be a birth and death year and it is and it has been. And it's made me reflect on the whole process of creation.

And if you are gonna show up in social media and want to build something and want to tap into your own creative self and creative voice and express that in a really powerful, honest and inviting way.

There is going to be destruction of something in order to make room for something to be birthed.

And let's look at a caterpillar, right? Turning into a butterfly. The entire caterpillar body has to be destroyed. It becomes soup.

Bonnie (42:06.104)
and then a butterfly is made. There is mass destruction in some cases for something to be birthed. There has to be room for the thing. There is this idea of life and death, of birth and death that is always happening and that will happen as you lean into giving yourself permission.

It can't not. If you're gonna give a yes somewhere, there's gonna be a no somewhere else and vice versa. If you say no somewhere, then there's more room and space for a yes. But if you're listening to this podcast, then I think you wanna do something different. And if you want something different, you have to do something different.

Bonnie (43:00.14)
Otherwise, I don't know. I think I'd podcast on authenticity and social media like this is it. To not feel like it's faking it. And it might feel like it's faking it because you don't, cause it might be new and you're like, I don't know how to do this yet. And it is okay that you don't know how to do it. And you show up still. It does not have to be figured out to be shared. You have to throw it up there and be like, is this it?

Try it. Try it.

Bonnie (43:40.388)
So all of this friends, there is a lot more that we could dive into, but I wanna share with you that as this podcast is being shared, that there are still applications, there's still a couple applications, room for a couple more applications for mentorship with me January through June. So if my vibe is your vibe, you know it, you can feel it and you're like, yes, more please, right?

If you're ready to do something and to make moves in a way, then apply for mentorship. And if you work with me, one of the things that I am good at is meeting people in their process and helping them recognize their inherent voice and helping them express themselves authentically and help support them to see their potential impact and ways to build

and to initiate action. So if you're ready to act, and you're ready to own your voice, then apply for the mentorship. And it does not mean that you have to do it right now. It means that then what happens after that is that there's some calls that we'll have for like 20 minutes this month, and then we'll have more conversation. And then at that 20 minute conversation, we'll be like, okay, yes or no. Okay? And I am not here to force anything.

If it's a yes for both of us, then it's a yes. And if it's a no for one of us, then it's not the right time. And I'm not going anywhere. And you're not going anywhere. And we're gonna keep doing the things. And we're gonna trust that we meet in the right time. So I'm gonna drop the link for that in the show notes. So apply for mentorship. have until Monday, December 9th to apply for that. So that's not a whole lot of time. So get on that. And then number two is

The play experiment is going to open for registration next week on Wednesday the 11th. So like that's just over like just under a week from right now. There's going to be a podcast next week with Gray and I talking more about the play experiment and it will be a month-long play experiment and

Bonnie (45:59.862)
It's gonna be so.

It's gonna be so impactful and fun and interesting and silly and deep.

and all about inviting permission giving.

and owning the hell out of your voice.

Mm.

Bonnie (46:28.696)
I'm grateful for you. Thank you for your time and attention and the way you pay attention in your life and the way that that gives you strength in ways that are so much more than muscle, right? That it's this muscle of attention and the way that that sustains you and encourages you and connects you to yourself, to others and to the community around you. It is a gift. Does a gift be connected here? Thank you.

Until next time.