254 - Celebrating the Full Spectrum of Life

The last several weeks have been so big. I'm back to the podcast after a hiatus, to share some of what I've been navigating--including immense grief and loss after the unexpected death of my mother. 

This season has been reminding me of the importance of kindness, and celebrating life and the complexity of emotions. And it's been reminding me that we are all fighting unseen battles. 

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Listen to Bonnie's other podcast Sexy Sunday HERE

The music for this episode is Threads by The Light Meeting.
Produced by: Grey Tanner

Transcript

Bonnie (00:01.432)
Hello loves, it is a delight to be here with you today. And I'm be real honest, life has thrown some curve balls at me and today we're gonna talk about it. And I wanna begin this by sharing a phrase that I had as my tagline on my email for years, for years.

And the amount of people that would respond to me or years later would respond to me about this tagline was a lot. There was a lot of people. And it is one that I've, you know, a quote that I've seen other places, but the quote is, kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

And it's attributed to, that quote is attributed to several different people, but regardless of who said it, who said it first, it still remains so true. So be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle and we do not know what it is. And it's something I talk to yoga teachers about everywhere, everywhere I go is that we

don't know the internal environment of anybody and how they're arriving in the world. And we only have so much control over the external environment, right? And the internal environment, if you were to guess by looking at me, you would be unable to. And so it is again, a place in my life where I am reminded about how much I do not know about others because of

the immense life that has been occurring for me.

Bonnie (01:56.846)
At this point, if you've been following along the podcast, have been, I've been sharing how my oldest kiddo was going off to school. That has happened now. He has left and has gone to school and he is a college student and I have two younger kids at home. They have a 16 year old and I have a 13 year old and I'm 41 and

I love so much about where I am in my life and also.

Bonnie (02:35.882)
And also, y'all, my mom died.

My mom died really unexpectedly. She was 61. And she died the day before I was taking my oldest to college. And there is no particular reason other than I think she let it be enough.

Bonnie (03:15.854)
And now we're coming up on, it's still less than four weeks. This is about three weeks ago now.

Bonnie (03:27.374)
three and a half weeks ago and...

It has shaken me in really big ways.

and how we do not know when it is our last time for anything. And especially for the people in our lives and how time and attention truly are the biggest gifts and how if you're here listening to this right now, is that from minutes in to this podcast that this time and attention you're spending here with me with a slightly, I have a slight cold sound because I've had, I got like the flu.

And actually it was just, I just returned from Switzerland where I was teaching flow school in person for the first time traveling abroad, which was amazing. And so like that's in there too. There's so, there's so much life. Like life has been life and hard in all of, in all of the ways that it can, you know, all at the same time.

and we are so much more than one thing. I am more than one thing and I experience more than one emotion at a time and love and grief get to be held hand in hand.

Bonnie (04:53.688)
So if you two have lost a parent and it has been something that rocked your world, get it. And perhaps it is a different loved one or a child as well.

Bonnie (05:10.858)
death is weird and death changes you. And my mom was diagnosed with cancer in August of 2020 with stage four lymphoma and went through chemo and did like a two year continuation kind of upkeep treatment, finished all that was declared cancer free. But lymphoma,

you know, you kind of had to keep going back and getting scans. And she was still at the moment of her death. We was still not diagnosed with more cancer, but she also was very much not well. Chemo sucks. Chemo was very hard for her and her stomach and digestive system were never able to get back.

and she had a lot of different pains in her body and she had some long COVID and a very persistent immense cough after getting COVID a couple times.

And she was tired. And she came out here this summer, one of the things that my grandma, my mom's mom said was that she died while she was living.

which is really true. She died while she was living. This summer was kicked off by her coming and attending my oldest, which is her oldest grandchild's graduation from high school. So she came for that. And then a month later she came back out and we did a family reunion at the ocean and she loved the ocean.

Bonnie (07:07.69)
And she also spent a lot time in bed because she's tired and she's working full time. She's working at the college in her hometown and gosh, everything she touches becomes better. Every person she remembered the smallest things and would remember year after year.

Bonnie (07:28.66)
And three weeks ago today, I flew to Montana where my parents live and where my siblings live and where the funeral is gonna be. And three weeks ago today, I arrived there and found a coffee shop and sat down for her obituary. And y'all thought it was not something I thought I'd be doing for a long time. And so today, as I sat down,

at a coffee shop to figure out my work and how that's feeling a little bit tricky right now. And it just reminded me how three weeks ago I was doing that and it has been a wild experience. And so...

Bonnie (08:20.258)
been interesting. And my mom, so she came for a family reunion at the coast and the next month in July, she went to a pink concert with my sister. And my mom hadn't been to a concert like that since she was in college. And I love that they had that experience. And then the week before she died, her sister

who was just a couple years older than me because there was quite a large age gap between my mom and her sister. Like there's almost 18 years and then I was born. So her, my aunt and I kind of grew up like cousins and my aunt is now having children and she has a one year old, almost two year old. And then the week before my mom died, she and her wife had their next, their second, their little baby and my mom.

went to go take care, help take care of their toddler and was able to welcome a homeless little baby who was then her niece and fill all the cups that she had left.

Bonnie (09:34.274)
And then a couple of days after she came back, she had had a hard night and she was gonna go in for a cancer scan. And what'd she have to be fasting for?

Bonnie (09:50.87)
and she was very cold and she covered herself up with a bunch of blankets and she'd been awake a lot and my sister-in-law found her.

And it was.

and she was in her chair and she was bundled up. She was warm.

And she was gone.

And I was in the end of teaching flow school online and my oldest who has just gone to college, right? He was home because he was going to be leaving the next day. And he came into my garage where I was leading flow school online. And my dad had called him because he couldn't get a hold of me and told him. And then my oldest tells me that my mom died while I'm teaching.

Bonnie (10:47.231)
Like you can hear it on the end of that recording that was then the replay for folks to listen to, finding out that my mom died and then me saying I have to go.

Bonnie (11:01.736)
and being in disbelief.

Bonnie (11:08.95)
and I hung up with my dad and I was on my yoga mat and I was kneeling there because I'd been kneeling over the phone and my oldest picked up his phone and I just yelled and I pounded the floor and I cried.

Because my mom, she still feels so touchable.

Bonnie (11:37.964)
She was a hugger. She would hold on longer. She loved to have her hair played with. And because of cancer and because she got to look real up close at her mortality.

Bonnie (11:55.246)
she would always say, just today, just this one day. You know, when I had video messaged her two days before and I am so glad for that. And I had been sitting here in my office and I have a neighbor who plays the violin and teaches the violin from his house and him and another person were in their back patio playing a song.

playing Amazing Grace and doing it as a duet. And it was so beautiful. And I was sitting here and the windows were open and I thought, man, my mom will love this. So then I videoed, I went outside of my backyard and took a video message and I sent it to her that night and she sent me a message back. And that is the last message I have from her.

Bonnie (12:58.604)
She lived longer than she thought she would. She always thought she would die young.

Bonnie (13:07.286)
And...

All this podcast feels highly personal. It also feels very relevant because I have always, I have always shown up here.

And as honest as I can and to tell the truth. And that can look different from time to time. And, sometimes it is contradictory truth, right? I can have a lot of joy and also a lot of grief at the same time. We can dive into some sort of nerdiness about teaching. And, and I did just go to Switzerland. We, my mom died. I dropped off my son for college.

A couple days later, I flew to Montana. I wrote my mom's obituary. We did all of the funeral things and my gosh, it was so beautiful. And then I flew home on Friday morning and then Saturday morning I flew to Switzerland. And I took full school for the first time internationally in person. I've been international already online, but.

teach it in person with 18 people. It was incredible and I love the work that I'm doing. I love the way that people are finding ways to tap into their own creativity and realize their artistry and give themselves permission to want and to create and to design the life that they want to live boldly and audaciously.

Bonnie (14:52.214)
and to make a ruckus in doing it in an unapologetic sort of way and to have a community to do it with and to have the ability to tap into a learning and.

and an experience that gives them the right amount of grounding to step from. We need that and I love that I have the opportunity to give that and the joy that I have in doing that and the plans for more, of, yes, all of the above. So.

Bonnie (15:34.252)
I guess I'm going to show up here today and tell you all this story because

you might see me and not know what I'm holding. Just like we might see anybody at the grocery store and not know what they're holding.

and anyone in our classes and not know what they are holding.

Bonnie (16:04.908)
and it is so important to be kinder than we sometimes think that we need to be because we don't know why somebody is showing up the way that they are and the battle that they are fighting.

the unexpected things that changed them that day that they did not know were going to change them.

Bonnie (16:36.322)
Yeah.

Bonnie (16:39.788)
You know, my mom's funeral was everything that she would have loved. Everything she would have loved. I loved, one of the things I loved about it was that it was so atypical. I mean, you know that I'm doing different things around here, but my mom, did different things too. She, if you're following along with my human design, like nerdiness, my mom also was a manifester.

and I love knowing that and I love that I only found that out this summer.

Bonnie (17:19.799)
Yeah.

I loved the way that I could reflect some things to her and the way that it makes me understand her even more and the grace that it gave me in wanting to know her and seeing different patterns in her and me. also earlier this year, she was having a lot of jaw pain and

I've just been really thinking about pain in our bodies recently a lot and, the way that I had a lot of low back pain and my SI joint pain and how pain gets to be this opportunity to have a conversation with ourselves and to talk to our pain. And I had a dear friend who mentioned that to me, like, what does your pain want to say to you? And I remember my mom telling me about how

badly her jaw hurt. Her jaw hurt so badly that she couldn't even open her mouth and she didn't want to smile. And it was like this whole thing and the immense amount of pain that she was living with, right? And I remember talking to her one day and reflecting to her and saying, like, mom, she was doing a little bit better with it. And I was like, you know, this is going to be kind of, you know, this dose of

woo woo that we hold space for of like science and woo and the unexplained sort of things in the world and as like you know I like to think about you know when like for example my mom died and I was like well no longer now my body can't process food I cannot eat right like my gut is messed up and you don't feel hungry and the way that my my emotional body my nervous system like I'm trying to process so much that

Bonnie (19:19.426)
My physical body has a hard time processing more. So my physical body is responding to my emotional body and to like the rest of me, right? So we have this relationship. Our physical body is not a sole operator. We operate all together. And I was talking to my mom about this and saying like, I have been thinking about your job, and how hard it is for you to open your mouth and the pain of that.

And I told her, was like, I don't know if it was actually earlier this year or even last year, but somewhere within this past year. I told her, was like, I don't know what it is you have to say.

But thinking about your jaw pain makes me think about your voice. And I hope that you say the things that you need to say. And perhaps some of the pain that you're feeling in your jaw is because you're not saying the things. And she was grateful for that reflection, that like conversation, and didn't say anything to me in that particular moment, but as time has gone,

by in this past year, there has been some things that she said and ways that she claimed and owned herself. And I talk about owning the hell out of your voice and it is that. And I got to watch my mom own herself and claim herself in ways that she never had in these past couple of years. And it has been beautiful and I am so proud of her.

I'm so proud of her. And y'all, that funeral was beautiful. She always wanted balloons and bagpipes and candy at her funeral. And we did all of those. We had an open casket funeral and the casket that was chosen by my siblings and my dad was a white metal casket.

Bonnie (21:26.702)
and we had Sharpie markers and we invited anybody who came to pay their respects and celebrate her life with us to sign her casket. And think about how if you've ever sat in a circle where, you know, people write a little note to you and then you have like a sheet of paper with like little notes on it or you're signing a yearbook at the end of a school year or

you know, like everybody signs a note card for your happy birthday that you work with. It was like that. Everybody had signed to the caska. I didn't even get a read. Like I read like a couple of them that you could see easily, but they're all over. And the little kiddos, like my little nieces and nephews who are like just little, and this is their grandma. There's like handprints and little kid drawings and notes on messages on it, like heartbreaking and beautiful and colorful.

and playful and my gosh, my mom would have loved that. Like so unique, so unique. And I got the opportunity to dress her, which is something she had done for a lot of people and was really beautiful. We were like, it was my sister, my sister-in-law's and my aunt and my dad.

And we would cry and we would laugh and then we would cry again and then we would laugh again and we're telling jokes and it was such a tender way to be together. And then to do her hair. She loved having her hair done. And.

Bonnie (23:09.356)
and to watch.

to watch my little nieces and nephews, her little kids to be so unafraid of their grandma's body. And not everybody has open caskets and not very many people, maybe you too have not gone to a lot of funerals where you have an open casket and there's a deceased body. And I have, I have gone to a lot of funerals that are like that.

And I don't know if it's part of Mormon culture and growing up in the Mormon church, but that's fairly typical that I have been to a lot of funerals and where that is the case. So you can see a body, but I never had the experience of it being my mom and where like you can still touch her. I had watched my little niece and nephews like kind of be running around together. And then they were just like at random. I would just watch them stop by.

and go over and stand next to their grandma and put her hand and they would touch her hands and touch her arms and touch her face. And my little niece would just play with her hair. And I have this image of her where she hooked her elbows over the edge of the casket. So her elbows were like resting on grandma's arm and she's like just touching grandma's like top of her chest and her collar of her shirt.

and playing with her hair and her fingers and it was and just admiring her and it was so tender.

Bonnie (24:50.926)
It's so sweet.

Bonnie (24:56.846)
I had such a gift to witness, like the love that my mom gave and the way she showed up was really big. And to watch other people show up and her grandchildren and the little notes and how, you know, when we close this gasket.

her grandchildren picked off little flowers from all the flowers around and tucked them in her hair and in her hands and painted little rocks and put them in with her and

Bonnie (25:38.316)
I'm gonna flip that.

She loved her grandchildren.

Bonnie (25:47.817)
And when we went to the cemetery, then there was a bagpipe, bagpaper playing.

And then our gasket was there. And then I read a poem and at the funeral services, my brother spoke and who felt like the week before, even before my mom had died, he had this feeling. He was like, wow, I'm gonna have to speak at mom's funeral. And my mom wasn't even passed yet. And he had had this thought and here he was speaking and that it really was.

the time and there's just different things. And I think my mom knew that it was coming. I don't think she knew when, but I think she knew and.

I think we knew and also it's never the thing you want, not the thing you really plan on. You're like, no, it's just gonna get better, right? And anyway, at the gravesite, I read the poem, Wild Geese by Mary Oliver.

and

Bonnie (27:02.414)
And I loved reading that poem for them, for the people there, for my mom. But it was really for all of us.

Bonnie (27:16.182)
You do not have to walk on your knees for a thousand miles repenting. You have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Bonnie (27:33.132)
and how we are all part of the family of things.

So was a gift to be able to read that. And then on this day of celebration, there was a party thrown and it was downtown in this open space in this old town area. And there were so many balloons and there was a candy bar, not like a candy bar, but like a bar of like all different sorts of candies and a friend.

My sister organized all this and she has amazing friends who showed up and really were like this team, this production team. So the family didn't even do anything and my sister was like amazing with this. And there was musicians, live musicians and there was the candy and then there was a cereal bar, y'all. My mom loves cereal. I had no idea this thing would be there but there was different types of milk.

and all different sorts of cereal and bowls. There was a food truck there of some person who was also a friend. It was like, I'll bring my food truck. People can buy food here then. And there was like games for kids and there was like places to hang out and sit. And it was such a beautiful, joyful experience and a place for so many different types of community members to come together and to pay tribute and to celebrate and give gratitude.

And before walking around with bowls of Captain Crunch, I love the way that there's like little pieces of this celebration of my mom that felt like it broke rules.

Bonnie (29:17.462)
which is also Mary Oliver, right? Dancing with the rules, preventing the rules. Sometimes there are no rules. And like if a funeral can be a bowl of cereal while you're hanging out and meeting people who are grateful for your mom, like that's pretty damn cool.

Bonnie (29:42.007)
and

It was beautiful. It was really beautiful.

Bonnie (29:53.76)
and it is hard and it can be both.

Bonnie (30:02.188)
It's really making me think about how little time we have.

how my oldest is now out of my house.

Bonnie (30:16.166)
How 18 years went very quickly.

Bonnie (30:21.957)
my kids were very little and now they are not.

Bonnie (30:29.26)
and how the reminder that in the end, we only ever have ourselves, friends, we only ever have ourselves, as devastating as that might sound, everyone will leave us to death, to circumstance, to a change of minds, to a situation.

to life, to growth, to whatever it might be.

We only ever have ourselves.

And that is why it is so important. Hold your own hand to your own heart to tap your chest to build this home here inside of yourself.

and to walk with as much grace in the world as we meet each other. And remind ourselves that we have just this one moment, just this day, just this one moment.

Bonnie (31:39.406)
and we do not know what else we will be given. And the gift it is to meet each other and to meet each other here in this moment, to listen to each other, to hold our hands to our own hearts in this moment together, but also not together, right? I'm sitting here with my hand in my heart.

Bonnie (32:01.516)
and how important it is because in the end, it will be us. It will be me by myself and you by yourself.

And even if, like my grandpa who died earlier this year where people were around him as he was passing, he still passed when he was alone. But even if somebody passes when they have people with them, they still, like we cannot get in each other's heads. We are still always, I'm always thinking, I'm like in my head.

There's so much talking to me. Sometimes I'm excited. I'm like, just want to hear somebody else talk for a minute because I'm still just hearing myself talk all the time. That's a lot sometimes.

Bonnie (32:56.194)
So this is where I am. So this is the life update. This is the current event and I will share another podcast, the next podcast. So look ahead for next week for talking about flow school in Switzerland and the magic of that. I mean, after I offered that, then my body was like, okay, you will rest now. I went from offering the retreat and

than having a break slash like emotional trying to regulate after retreat land. And then

And then my mom died and my son left and then I went to funeral and then I went Switzerland and hosted flow school. And then after that, my body got sick and I was like, this feels right. This feels like my body is like, just lay down and do nothing. And we're gonna let the fever rage. And it was interesting actually, one night this past week, I was up at like 3 a.m. and my fever was raging.

And that word came to mind to me as I was cold and feeling so not well. And I was thinking about the word rage and I was thinking about my mom and I was thinking about how tumultuous it is to have an unexpected death and a change in life in this way and how like I get to be angry about

about that in different ways and be like...

Bonnie (34:34.446)
I wanted more with her. I wanted her to have more. wanted whatever, right? Like I could be frustrated. I can have a rage about that. And I was awake and in the middle of the night and not feeling well, but in my head I was having this whole entire like lucid, it was like I was awake, but it felt like dreamy, like, you know, it's like fever land. And I was like, I could stay in rage.

and not that I'm like in rage, like the, could be enraged because of my mom dying, or I could be really stiff and distant and aloof and apart and separate, right? could be that untouchable sort of self, or I could lift up the moment.

And when somebody passes by me, I have the opportunity to lift that moment and make them better or make that moment better because it passed by me.

And so which do I want to choose?

and in my feverish moment as I'm thinking about this.

Bonnie (35:58.39)
I kind of had this whole vision because I'm in Grindelwald and Grindelwald in Switzerland is like so beautiful and so hilly, you're either going uphill or downhill, one or the other. And the little farms everywhere, there's so many cows and cowbells and I've learned so much about Switzerland cows, it's amazing. But in my feverishness is like this hillside.

And I was like, I will lift up the moment. This is what I will do. And I will invite other people to lift up this moment with me.

And so in my state at that moment, I was like, I will lift up and be like, just share the name of the person who has passed that you miss, that you love, and let's lift them up. Like, let's lift this up. We do not have to rage. We do not have to separate ourselves and get cold and distant and cold, right? We get to lift up this moment that is in front of us.

by lifting up these people who have died, who we have loved. And it was in my, this kind of imagination place of, you know, looking up on this hillside, even though I'm in bed and seeing all of these little lights and people holding up a little light, which meant they were holding up this person's name with so much love and awe and gratitude that this person was in their life. And the whole hillside was lit up.

this idea that we are not alone in loss. We are not alone in loss.

Bonnie (37:46.454)
and others know what it is like to lose somebody that you love.

and we all have the opportunity to experience this play between love and grief and loss. And we also get to say we have this one day and to lift up these people and the moment that passes by us. That does not mean that sometimes we're gonna be not, you know, like a puddle of tears and then we're gonna be laughing and joyful and...

We're gonna have this back and forth. And of course my dad is having a totally different experience. I've been married for almost 42 years with my mom. That's a different experience than me, but speaking from this experience, right?

Bonnie (38:35.862)
And I was thinking about as I was flying home from Switzerland, in a way that I saw all these older women getting on and off the bus and the train as we're taking so much public transportation and seeing all these older women and realizing that my mom, I'll never see my mom as an old lady. And just the tenderness I had for these older women and when people would help them and watching others help these women and.

and how much I don't speak German and French and there's so many other languages I was exposed to this past couple weeks. so I was thinking about all this and I was on the plane flying home and I was thinking about a conversation I had with my mom when my oldest was graduating and her and I were in the car together and I was feeling excited about his graduation and I was like, great, like next step, here we go.

then I had this moment where I was thinking about how much I love him and how much I want to give to him and how much you still have to learn, right?

I started crying in the car and I asked my mom, said, does it ever feel like you've done enough and given enough to your kids?

And she looked at me she said, And you know what? I totally stopped crying and I was like, okay. So I guess if, if you just don't ever feel like it's enough, then like, I guess that's what it is. You're here's 18 and I'm 41 and my mom's still saying that right. About me that means. And I was thinking about this on the plane and y'all.

Bonnie (40:28.844)
There was like a way that it hit me different because.

I was trying to rest on the plane. was trying to sleep and it is hard to sleep on an airplane. I started to get myself comfortable and I said the phrase to myself, I said, it is enough. It is enough. Where I didn't, wasn't trying to like fight, trying to sleep in different way. And I was like, just trying to let myself relax. And I said the phrase, it is enough to myself.

Bonnie (40:58.592)
And the very next thought in my head was, it was enough. And my mom was enough.

And if she was still thinking at 61 that perhaps she did not do enough for her kids, she did.

And how I was imagining her sitting in her chair, all bundled up and warm and letting it be enough. Because y'all, she had infinitely more things to always do and people to thank and a rocking chair to buy for her new niece and who was just born the week before. she had just messaged me about

my oldest kid and having a fridge for school, which he did have, right? And people at the college, she had all these things that she was always ready to let go do, but she was also very tired. And I imagined her sitting in her chair just saying,

is enough and letting it be enough and letting herself relax.

Bonnie (42:17.42)
and how so much swirls around us in our own heads of feeling like we're too much or not enough. And it's often we're holding that experience at the same time of being like, it's too much or I'm too much or I'm not enough in different circumstances, in different ways. And we hold both of them at the same time. But in this moment, as I was thinking about my mom and her sitting there and letting it be enough.

It changed the experience for me where we tell this story of enoughness.

and how we get to tell it differently and how powerful that is and how she was enough and how deeply I believe that and how

Bonnie (43:11.534)
how perfect is boring, right? I say this all the time to teachers, I'm like, perfect is boring. Perfect is boring. If you want to step into creativity, like perfect is boring. Like if you want to step anywhere, perfect is boring. And the enoughness that we might believe we have or do not have, and now will we ever do enough? Is it ever going to be enough? Am I going to be enough, right? I say like, actually, what if you...

Do let it be enough.

Bonnie (43:47.18)
because that doesn't mean we give up. That doesn't mean in this moment where I'm still kicking and I'm doing things and I'm like, you know what? This moment gets to be enough. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna still try. That doesn't mean I'm not still gonna be working on different things that I want to bring to life or the ways I wanna exist in the world or the ways that I wanna like grow some muscle, right? Is this enough muscle? I don't know, I know I want more.

It gets to be enough in this moment and to give ourselves the opportunity to have those little wins because we're going to be doing this for a minute if we're lucky.

And we're doing it right now. So wherever you are, wherever you are today, I hope there's some moment that you can tell yourself, I'm doing enough right now. Or this is enough. This is enough. It is enough. And give yourself the win that you are showing up and that doesn't mean that you're not gonna keep showing up. You're not gonna keep playing with the experiment of living and that you're not gonna find

Like you're not gonna stop finding like the beauty in like all of the unfolding of what is ahead of you. gosh, but like we get to celebrate it too. you know I'm all about that celebration. We gotta find this play because this is the day that we have today, today.

Bonnie (45:28.782)
I am grateful for my mama and now this gets to be part of my story and it feels like a really beautiful part. It's heartbreaking and I will miss her immensely as I do.

Bonnie (45:48.684)
I look a lot like her and people think that I sometimes are like, how are you that old? You don't look that old. I'm like, I get that from my mama. She did not look like she was that old. And people have told her that her whole life. So that is from her. She was also tall.

Bonnie (46:09.658)
and

Bonnie (46:13.966)
part of her gets to keep living in me and in my kids.

Bonnie (46:22.336)
And I am so grateful for that.

Bonnie (46:27.672)
Thank you for listening to this story, to my reflections. When I thought I was like, what do I podcast about after all of this? And after several weeks of no podcasts, I couldn't not, this is exactly, this is what I have to talk about. And this is, I think, part of what I hope to build with Yoga Strong and what I hope to build with...

I guess we'll call it the brand. The brand I'm building or the brand I've landed in is to tell the truth and to be a real human. To be with you.

And for you to know that this is real life and it gets to be more than one thing and I'm more than one thing. And our reality of real life affects how we show up. It changes how we show up. It improves how we show up. It does all the things. And I'm grateful for that.

And I'm grateful for you and your time and attention here. It is the biggest gift.

Bonnie (47:41.198)
kind friends.

Be kind. You never know when another person is going through and they are all fighting some sort of hard, invisible battle.

Bonnie (47:59.256)
Yeah.

Bonnie (48:03.192)
We will talk some more yoga in the next podcast. I will reflect about Switzerland and the first in-person international flow school. And I'm so excited about the flow schools to come in this next year in 2025. There is more things coming. A book is gonna be published then. So there's things to look forward to and...

Bonnie (48:27.788)
My mom won't see all those things.

Bonnie (48:32.322)
but we're gonna still do them and we're gonna celebrate the hell out of it. Yeah? I am sending you so much love. Hand to heart. Hand to heart.

Bonnie (48:52.76)
Let's connect again soon, yeah? Have such a wonderful day.