252 - Creating Space to Celebrate Ourselves

Last week I returned from hosting a co-ed retreat on the Oregon coast, that I called Celebrate Your Whole Damn Self. And it was beautiful and full of magic and play and deep connection. And it was an experience that was co-created. 

Today I talk about that, and of the power of creating spaces--where we can breathe, and be, and flow and celebrate more of who we are. And of the magic of coming together, where everyone gets to bring and share their gifts. And what can ripple outward.

Weekly stories by email from Bonnie’s HERE

Connect with Bonnie: Instagram, Email (hello@bonnieweeks.com), Website
Listen to Bonnie's other podcast Sexy Sunday HERE

The music for this episode is Threads by The Light Meeting.
Produced by: Grey Tanner

Transcript

Bonnie (00:01.56)
Hello, my loves. I am just getting back from a six day retreat and just, mean, right now it's a Monday as I'm recording this and I got back on Thursday. So there's been a couple days, but it still feels like just because I've been processing and holding and thinking about the whole experience and I'm probably gonna cry about this. I...

hosted a retreat on the Oregon coast. I live in Oregon. I've hosted all four of my retreats here on the coast and it's really beautiful. There's a rugged sort of beauty to the Oregon coast where the water is cold and gorgeous and the coast is rocky and sandy and depending on the beach of course you go to and the visuals are stunning and the weather was perfect.

rained a couple mornings but then it was sunny we actually got sunburned and I hosted this retreat and called it celebrate your whole damn self.

You know when you're doing something and you think how like it's your work but it doesn't feel like work? I mean I feel like I'm like I'm in that process in so many places where even in podcasting I'm to tell you this story about the retreat but I mean guess technically this is my work doesn't it's what I'm choosing to do and when I'm there it just everything felt like play.

and deeply important and work, but there was such a beautiful mix of humans and experiences that I still feel in awe of how it all unfolded. And it was my birthday. And so I decided to host this retreat over my birthday and say, we're gonna do all of my favorite things. We're gonna do all of the things on the coast and.

Bonnie (02:04.142)
just in general that I love to do that included getting naked for birthday suit yoga, that included having a fire on the beach, that included getting in the ocean, which we ended up doing that naked too on my birthday. But it was always, it's always, you know, as nude as you want, like there's zero pressure, there's people, they're fully clothed, it's like, I'm too cold. I'm like, okay, great. We had, we had,

Sound experiences, had yoga, we had hiking and amazing food. We had intentional time in together and partner moving meditations and writing workshops. so we brought a tea ceremony. I had a sensation experience gifted to me for my birthday from everybody that one of the other people brought.

to the experience that, or to like our week together that was totally unexpected. And I think at this moment, what I really want to share is the beauty that happens when you make space. I've often always thought that it's very easy to make things happen because you just have to start it. Because everybody wants to do something. They want to participate. They want to be a part of something, but they're waiting for an invitation.

And knowing more about human design as I do, which I'm not going to go into human design. There's a couple of episodes here on human design and some with Rocky here and you can look up, but human design and knowing I'm a manifestor and a manifestor in human design is an initiator. Like I'm here to be like, okay, great. We're going to do this thing. Y 'all. Okay. Ready? Ready, set, go. And, I've always thought this before I even had like the, language that human design has given me, but I've always felt

Like if you want something to happen, it's very easy actually because you just put it out there and nobody's, nothing's gonna happen if you do nothing.

Bonnie (04:11.894)
Like, I can't do shit. And there's bravery in that. There's a listening to yourself to make sure it's the right thing. There is community in that. There's like, need people to respond to it.

Bonnie (04:32.542)
And I think right now I just feel really grateful.

for that knowing in myself that I knew that this was going to happen and that people were going to sign up, that it was going to be what it was going to be, that I wasn't trying to make bank from this. Like retreats, like I've all, there's all different sorts of money you may or may not make from retreats. And I wasn't trying to necessarily make money from this. Did I as a business like conversation a little bit, like a little bit, but it is one of my most favorite things.

to bring people into community, to introduce them to each other, and for those people to be able to share their gifts with the community that is brought together. And to be able to pay my friends for the things that they have that they get to bring that feels like play and ease to them, but that is powerful as fuck to bring to others. And I gotta do that.

And I got to be with people who I mostly knew everybody who was coming or had interacted with them once, whether it be online or if I know them in person. There was five people total out of 17 who I had never met in person before the retreat, which is actually a very low number. So I knew so many people who were coming and knowing them individually and knowing the ways that they would all play together and how it would feel. was so excited. And

It feels difficult to put into words the feeling of love and acceptance and compassion that was there, but the whole stage is really set. And I told them all at the beginning in our opening circle that like we're there to celebrate. And part of that is

Bonnie (06:35.404)
you know, I had them go around the room and say what they were arriving celebrating. And that's how it began because, and it was all different sorts of things. Some, yeah, just all different sorts of things. And anybody can say as much or as little as they want about what they're celebrating. And everybody arrived really honest. And I think this group is special and

and powerful because people weren't trying to put on a show. They got a show up as them. You can't live together with six people for six days, like we're in the same house and there's a bunk room with eight people in it. And there's five other bedrooms, all with two people in it mostly that like we're together. We are together and...

Bonnie (07:35.104)
And people gave themselves permission to exist as themselves and to choose for themselves and that everything is an option and that they have the power to choose what they want and where they want to go and the stories that they share or the stories they tell themselves.

Bonnie (08:00.768)
And part of the joy of being an initiator and of bringing things together like this is creating enough space for all of the sorts of connections and offerings and like magic, like the energy that everybody else is going to bring. I think that's not talked about maybe very much.

that if you are somebody who's creating spaces and containers of experience, that part of creating that is literally having enough room. And I like to think of Esther Perel when she talks about relationships and about how there's two individual people. And if you kind of have a vision of people on either side of a river, right? Where there's

It's like a deep cliff where you have a space between you and where the space between you is like this other beautiful thing and how we can see each other as separate beings, but there's space to move. And we all know that in relationship, if one person is just going for the other person, that it doesn't work very well. That person that's always being inundated feels like they need less and the other person has some sort of anxiety in something.

So respecting the space and honoring the space between people is the same, I feel like, in container and space building. That if I have created the space of this retreat where you celebrate all of the parts of you and all of the parts of you are welcome and that you are whole as you.

and that you need nothing from me and from anybody else, but we are here to champion each other and to walk with each other as we discover more about ourselves, which we absolutely will through these activities and through this intentional time in where we all left and we definitely looked like we've been living at the beach in the best of ways, in the best of ways.

Bonnie (10:09.222)
We're not there to check our emails or not there. I've been totally off social media for over a week and I'm like, okay, we'll get back in. And that there was an ease and a relaxed my hair. Hair does wild things when you're next to more humidity and everybody's just wearing comfy pants. There's no tight pants anywhere. No makeup really. We're just hanging.

And the space that I have learned to trust in my creation of these kinds of experiences provides again and again and again room for things that I could not have even planned. And if you are somebody who is creating space and spaces and experiences and containers, make room.

for things that are unexpected and do not have any pressure or expectation of it, but that there is enough flexibility in your plans that leaves room for something that is better than you could have ever imagined. Because I only can work from my perspective. I can only give what I have, right? And so if I leave room for other people to give and if I invite other people to give,

then all of a sudden the experience becomes something different because I only have my perspective and my lived experience to teach from and they have theirs and is very different than mine. And so the space that was created this past week that allowed other people's to step in and bring their gifts and enhance the experience where some of those things were other people's favorite things about the retreat and some big ahas and

moments of self -reflection and connection and

Bonnie (12:13.12)
I feel in awe and in gratitude that this gets to be the work that I do. That I get to bring people together and make space for them to share the gifts that they arrive in the world with even if they aren't even sure that it's a gift that they can give. If they're not even sure how to give it. But if they're brave enough to like just show up without any sort of expectation and they can bring themselves.

his

I am so interested in being in a rooms where my biggest self is just as welcomed as your biggest self and it is not a competition, but it is an encouragement to champion each other and where it does not detract from each other's experience when each of us lean into celebrating all of the parts of us and in fact,

when we start celebrating ourselves to watch the ways that other people celebrate us and to celebrate other people on purpose, to find ways, to look for ways to celebrate each other and to watch the camaraderie that is built in that process. And y 'all, there is something about play. Next year, 2025 is the year of play. I'm declaring as the year of play. I have some things planned. We're gonna start with a play challenge in January, so that's gonna be coming up.

open for all people, not just yoga teachers. So there's just something about play and what play means, et cetera. So we'll be like, there's all these things that are coming, but.

Bonnie (13:58.262)
This retreat was co -ed. Having a retreat that is co -ed feels really important to me. Yes to all men's groups and yes to all women's groups. But in regular life, we exist all together. And having a space and a retreat that is created that is co -ed in a way that is loving and respectful and playful and

and vulnerable in just the ways that people want to bring it that it's beautiful to witness the way that we can hold each other because we get to take that experience in a retreat where we get to see each other and say, I get to take this into regular life. And you know what? After I came back from the retreat that night, I went and took a walk in the neighborhood and I saw this couple out walking and

I turned to my lover who was also in the retreat because he was there making pictures and playing and jumping in the waves and doing all the things with us too. And I turned to him and was like, I feel so sad for them. Like, I feel like I should know them. Like they should be on the retreat with us, this couple that was like across the street. And I was like, they missed out. And I was feeling this certain amount of grief for this couple because

There's so much room for us to celebrate each other. There's so much room for us to love each other and to love each other in our own ways and how some people like totally click and some people don't just in general, right? But in this kind of incubation like moment where we're stuck together for these days that we really get the opportunity to practice that and practice seeing each other. Practice being seen.

And it is the seeing of each other, the seeing of ourselves, letting ourselves be seen that that really is the celebration. I have to let myself see you in order to celebrate you. I have to see you. You have to let me see. And that is brave work. That is arriving with curiosity. That is setting down expectation. That is believing that everybody shows up

Bonnie (16:21.6)
as their best selves in their best moment, like in the moment and, and trying to lean into grace.

even if you're coming up against something. And it's so beautiful to witness people claiming themselves.

Bonnie (16:48.502)
There are several stories that I tell.

I think I love the way that play happened in unexpected ways where people gave themselves permission even to go jump in the ocean. The ocean is cold here, but how they played, how they laughed, and that was like a really big thing.

And I'm tell you one story.

Bonnie (17:20.686)
and the rest of all of the things need to marinate. And I could talk about all the different experiences. Maybe I'll have some of the people who helped host different things on the podcast and we can talk about some of the different things as there's a couple ideas in my head for that. But part of this retreat, very much like last year, I did my Naked 40 party and gallery last year. And if you're new here to the podcast, I've talked about that last year. I turned 40, I photographed.

40 friends, I didn't photograph, I was the creative director, my lover is a photographer. And so we hosted these sessions and I asked 40 friends to get naked and we made pictures and then I printed them. We made a gallery and everybody dressed up and all of our naked pictures, there was one of everybody and I had several and it was a birthday thing. So we all got naked for my birthday but in the most beautiful way. This isn't boudoir, this is just existing and.

living in and celebrating your body. It's a body celebration and where we encourage, I think we let ourselves see our body as part of our lived experience and to hold it and to let it be enough and to acknowledge gratitude for this physical body that helps us have all of those other experiences that are inside of it.

where we still get to celebrate this physical body and be like, okay, that's me. Wow, I didn't know that that's what other people see and that it brings people to tears to be seen. And we wanted to offer a small experience of that. So on my birthday during the retreat, did naked yoga. We had a static dance with like headphones. That was the night before we had embodiment session.

Like everybody eating together is such a thing and cuddling together and touch was so impactful where people are just holding each other, where it's non -sexual but just caring. And we need more touch, we need more touch. And every group that I ever host, even for flow school, right, any in -person group, each vibe is totally different and I try to walk into every experience of being just open.

Bonnie (19:42.334)
open to making the space and letting the magic unfold as it's going to unfold because every group is different but this group was something special and there was so part of this was after naked yoga, birthday suit yoga, then we offered portrait sessions so was just one of the people who they could get as nude as they want and we made pictures them either in this forest area or on the beach with like the tall grass and whatnot and anybody who wanted to so there's no have -dos.

but we ended up making 12 people's portraits. There were 17 of us total, including the chef and myself and everything. So we did 12 portraits and one of the couples wanted pictures together as that's part of that as well.

And by that time, we had been together for five days. So we really were dropped in together, which the timing of everything was on purpose. I timed it all, the different activities, very much on purpose. And...

Bonnie (20:47.71)
watching the way that these people got to witness how they were seen by the camera, which is really by my lover and his gift of helping people see their beauty and that I get to direct them and help them drop into it and make it easy. And then to be with them and sit with them as they feel the emotion of even if it's a small inkling of celebration for more of their physical self.

Like it moved me to tears. There was a situation where somebody sat on the sand naked, which is a whole thing and was hard. And I made the picture, because I was making some Polaroid, like instant pictures. So I made this instant picture of this person and there was a hill and this person slid down the hill, like sand going right up your butt crack, know, whole vibe. This person had not been very stoked about the sand previously and the sand.

all went and everything, they stood up at the bottom and I looked at her and I, actually before she even did that, I was like, you're gonna slide down that? She said, yes. She slid down, she stands up, she looks at me like exuding joy. And like just embracing all of it.

And I said, are you going to run to the ocean naked now? And she looked at me and nodded her head. And then she ran into the ocean. It was just a sprint, a sprint far, farther away. And two of the other people by us, as women were running after her and like championing her and watching the arc of the journey of these individuals where

Bonnie (22:39.564)
of how they celebrated themselves and how then they leaned into the celebration of each other and being able to physically see the experience and watch the light turn on in them in a different way. That does not mean that the voices in our head are totally gone, but it means that maybe we found something there and that there was a moment of play that was more powerful.

was more powerful than the fear.

Bonnie (23:14.54)
And I just started sobbing and my lover's there already making pictures of me as I'm crying, cause I'm watching all of this unfold and the beauty of it. And honestly, that's really what I'm coming away with from this last week is the beauty of it. And the way that I want that kind of beauty to seep into everything I do with a certain sort of ease and trust that I'm

I'm so exactly where I need to be. I am exactly where I need to be. The timing is exactly right. I am here speaking on this podcast saying, saying the things as I need to say them and having the trust in my life to be in the flow as it arrives. That's all I need to do. Yeah, there's work there. As Picasso says, Like inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

Bonnie (24:15.584)
but there's a way we can work where we.

Bonnie (24:21.416)
approach it, we can approach it different ways. And the gift of the softness and the love and the play and the celebration of this past week has changed my life. And these people have changed my life. And I feel like I need to see them right now. Like we live together now. We live together now and

I love them. I love them. And I love that I didn't know all of them before. that like maybe social media and even for podcast land, right? There's this barrier between us where we don't get to physically feel each other. Yeah, we don't get, I don't get to hug you. You don't get to hug me. I'm like, we're not here in this space, but like it's so real. It's so close that we can, like I can.

put out another retreat, which right now I'm like, okay, I'm gonna plan another retreat, at least one for this next year. I might do a yoga teacher retreat, specific, and then a non -yoga teacher retreat. I don't know, I'm throwing some ideas around right now. But like, it's so easy to just say yes. And it does mean you might have to say no to other things in your life. If you have to give a yes, if you wanna give a yes, you might have to say no, because you have to make space for the magic.

in the space between. Because the space between is really important. There has to be enough wiggle room for anything to even move anywhere in anything we do. Let's take it to yoga flow. Like I fucking love teaching yoga teachers about creative sequencing. It's so fun and so powerful and so transformative because it is teaching yoga teachers

how to tap into creativity, how to find creativity, what creativity even means to them, and then specifically then how it relates to yoga. And so all of this.

Bonnie (26:29.581)
all of this.

So maybe it feels like there's a barrier between you and me and social media land and Instagram and how there's like a billion ads out there and people you're like, are this, is this person, even this person like you come into me person, you're going to hear me laugh. I probably will cry, like the hug is going to be great and we can make it real. And that's, that's what I want to say. It's real. I'm real. You're real. And we are so worth celebrating.

and leaving room, even if it's a fingernails worth of room, to find a little bit of wiggle to actually celebrate yourself in some way, please do it. You are so worth celebrating. Celebrate your whole damn self because you are here with your own gifts to give and your own sort of magic that you bring to the room.

and it is a gift to others to receive it.

Bonnie (27:37.964)
So, loves.

Come to retreat with me, yeah? I'm gonna put some things together for this next year. Follow me, social media, I'll add you can find it there or sign up for my emails. Like I will definitely send it out via email. Instagram sometimes like social media, won't always get it. So click the show note link so that you can get on my email list so you can get all the deeds and not miss it. Let's be in real life together. Let's make magic and let's play.

Okay, I'm off to go to an eye appointment now. So have a wonderful day wherever it is you're off to next. I hope you take a moment to pause and take a breath.

Bonnie (28:27.724)
and then move. Sending love.