229 - Watching Women Claim Themselves

I love watching women claim themselves. 
The process. The unfurling. The courage.  Today I'm fired about it.

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The music for this episode is Threads by The Light Meeting.
Produced by: Grey Tanner

Transcript

Bonnie (00:00.866)
Hello, loves. It's good to be back with you.

Right now I'm feeling a little bit fired up and the thought that came to my mind as I walked out into my kitchen and made myself some matcha, I was talking to my lover and I just told him, I said, I love watching women claim themselves. I love watching women claim themselves. And the way that even saying that like elicits a sort of like,

energy up my body makes me want to expand into my chest. Like there's like this mixture of like emotion where I almost want to cry but I almost want to be angry at the same time. It's like this combination of both things. I love watching women claim themselves.

Bonnie (01:02.574)
So that's where I'm at right now.

And I just wanna give you a shout out if you are creating, if you're creating some upheaval in your life, if you have decided that there are things in your life that you no longer want and you are taking action to create a different life for yourself.

Bonnie (01:25.806)
I just, I just want to celebrate you.

And I want to celebrate you because I am privileged enough to have conversations with some of you and shout out right now, if you can leave a review on this podcast, it means a whole ton to me because I only hear about the podcast if you say something, there's no, I mean, sure, I can see numbers, but it's just like, it's just, it doesn't, it doesn't, that doesn't matter to me, but it matters that, that maybe this message reaches somebody else.

and maybe you sharing how it impacts you matters. And one of the ways that I hear about how it matters is I've been saying, let's make social media social. So you get to make an appointment with me. And so people have been hearing that and scheduling appointments with me so we can actually talk lifetime. And I had a call with somebody today, so shout out to that person who I'm not going to name and how they shared where they are currently at and how they heard me.

give a call out for, let's make social media social and actually talk for realsies. And so I just want to be here with you. And I wanna share something that I shared with this person and something I'm sure I've shared on other podcast episodes and maybe you have heard it before, but I have this plant tattoo on my arm. And this plant tattoo was actually,

drawn by my ex who is a very talented artist. And it was my very first tattoo. I have a snake tattoo now. And this plant tattoo, I knew I wanted a plant, but I, and I have a lot of plants in my house since I kind of looked around, I thought, well, what plant would I want? And I knew I wanted the roots of the plant. Cause there's so often tattoos that are, are made where it's just the, the foliage is just the leaves and the flowers, which are beautiful. But there was something about the whole plant.

Bonnie (03:30.094)
Like I wanna be a, I'm a full ass person here. We're not gonna half ass something. Like how do we full ass and if it's not full ass, do we really need to like step back from it, right? Like I want the whole plant. I want the whole thing.

And so I have this plant on my arm and what has become a really beautiful experience with this plant is that there have definitely been times in my life where there's a plant analogy where maybe where we repot ourselves, we grow out of the size of pot we're in. Yeah. So maybe you've heard that, but, but this one is where I will like hold my hand up in a fist.

with the idea that what if I'm holding the stalk of this plant? The roots are like dangling at one end and the plant is kind of flopping around on the top end. And plants can grow in a lot of places and different types of soil. And I get to choose where that is. Where do I want to plant this plant? And there's been different times in my life that I feel like the plant is me, it is my life, it is...

the freedom and foundation and safety and trust and all the things that I'm trying to figure out for myself. And I'm thinking, what do I do with this plant? Where does this plant even go to say, does it fit in this pot? Does it fit in that pot? What kind of ground does it want here? And I think there was just this part, I remember especially as I was in this place of really leaving.

high demand religion of my Mormon days, you know, which was really only like eight -ish years ago. And then moving into non -monogamy and then divorcing and stepping into business and now having teenagers and now having a kid about to leave on to college. Like there's so many different layers and like navigating lovers and navigating family. And now I own this house. So what do I do with that? There's just so many layers of self and...

Bonnie (05:29.518)
And okay, what about back pain and what does wellness mean and how do I show it for people?

Bonnie (05:37.486)
as a list, let's breathe with that for a second. And slow it.

Bonnie (05:45.006)
because there is so much.

And when I think about me as this plant and I'm holding the plant, it's me holding me, right? And saying, where do you want to be planted? And you can be planted a lot of different pots, a lot of different color pots, different sizes, a little bit different. Do you want to buy that window or that window or that house? Or are you like ready to like live out in the woods? Like where do you want to be planted? And.

I just embraced being a floating plant and I thought, ooh, you know what? It can feel nice to feel like there's like foundation. This is what we're doing. This is how we're moving. But what if I befriended this idea that I don't know and that I just gotta carry this plant around with me and think, ooh, is it here? And get really curious and get really brave and remember that like beginnings.

are messy, they're messy. And we don't often have the language to navigate where we're going and what we want and what do we want. And I think letting ourselves ask that question is so important and especially as women, and I am not here to exclude any non -binary or men, but I think as a lived experience as a woman or as somebody who is a primary caregiver,

And really it's honestly that, like if you're a primary caregiver too and are stepping, maybe you're changing relationship. Maybe you're living a high demand religion. Maybe you're changing jobs. Maybe you're making the scary brave decision to make massive change and shifts in your life that maybe some people don't understand. And maybe you don't even have the words for yet, but you're like, this is what I have to do. And you gotta embrace being a floating plant.

Bonnie (07:45.262)
And maybe there's a lot of pressure to think, I gotta put my roots down. Like where do I stand now? How do I find balance and support now? And it is there and it is coming. And I think this is so much about building a home in yourself. And if you're in the middle of like this process, please look up Sarah Blondin on Insight Timer. I so appreciate her words and the way that she's carried me and helped me build my own home in myself.

Because that is imperative, it's imperative. How do we hold ourselves as we grow? Because if we just grow and grow and grow and grow without learning how to hold ourselves, we're gonna pop, right? That's not sustainable. So how do we hold ourselves in our growth? Because you know what I want? I want to watch women claim themselves. And it is so powerful to me to be a witness to that.

I work with so many women and I love working with men as well. Everybody has a different story and a different way that they have felt contained and boxed in, whether by culture or by their own selves. And anybody who I work with to watch them figure out how to give themselves permission and to befriend whatever state they are currently in.

and you don't identify with it. You don't say like, I have no, like I'm not a person with a foundation. No, you just are a floating plant. You're figuring out what you want and gosh, like if somebody asks you what you want, you're like, ah, what do you want?

We have to experiment sometimes. Sometimes we have to step a little bit forward and say, is this what I want? And then be able to step back and let it be an experiment and less attachment and.

Bonnie (09:36.27)
I don't know if I have, I don't have anything prescriptive here. I just, I just know what it's like.

And I know it's like to continually figure out what it means to claim myself. And I feel like that's current events. And maybe I've traveled through some places. Maybe I can show up here and now and talk about it.

But I'm still learning this too. And I feel like there's pieces in me that are just really starting to click in and other pieces that are opening up that are showing me where I have to grow. And it makes me so excited. And I just wanna thank you. I wanna thank you for opening up your hearts.

your minds, your energy, your time here to be with me and to listen to this and to hopefully ignite something in you to say, what do I want? And can I hold myself in that want? And where do I grow with that? And is that a place where I go? And where can I get more information to make those choices? And if talking to me is it, then talk to me. Sharing this with somebody that you know is feeling called and is feeling alone or...

is in this messy middle as a floating plant. Maybe it's that right now.

Bonnie (11:12.238)
I...

I just want to celebrate you. Because it is when each of us claim ourselves, it is when we claim ourselves and say, I am fucking proud of myself for choosing me and for trying to pay attention every day. What is it today, Bonnie? What is it today you need? Bonnie, what today is it? Every day, what is it today?

How do you step into who you are, who you wanna be today? How do you give yourself permission to do less or to do more? And that is the daily practice of stepping into me and giving myself permission to ask the questions. And it is an honor to watch you ask the questions and to hear about how you are doing that and claiming yourself because when we claim...

ourselves and when we move from that sort of experience and energy and desire it is coming from inside of us and it cannot come out people are moved by you being moved and so It changes the entire fucking world When you claim yourself and it happens a little bit at a time a little bit at a time

and I am celebrating you in it. And if you feel like you're in the wild wind and your plant is barely hanging on, but you've got your hand around it and its roots are like, talking to you in your face, you're doing okay. Like you're really doing okay.

Bonnie (13:01.838)
you

with you in this moment.

Bonnie (13:20.494)
is celebrating you. Thank you for paying attention in the ways that you do and continuing to ask questions about who you are, where you are, where you're going, what you want. And befriending those parts of you that you think are too much or too little. I'm sending you big love.