Bonnie (00:01.11)
Hello loves, welcome back.
I have been thinking about the wildness that is my life, as in the amount of time that I spend online. And at this current moment, I am the week after hosting my second in real life Flow School. And Flow School, if this idea is new and you haven't heard me talk about this before, is a training for yoga teachers that's specifically geared to creative sequencing and just learning how to sequence a yoga class that's outside of using sans salutations as the base.
I think of vinyasa yoga as an exploration of transitions and truly the word vinyasa is translated from Sanskrit as “a special way to place something.” So it is this focus on transitions as much as it is on poses and I have a whole kind of a way I deliver that. There's so many ways to be right, of course, and there's a lot of ways to sequence and we talk about several of those.
But it really is a dive in specifically to sequencing, which is not always focused on in teacher trainings. And one of the gifts is that I get to meet people in real life. And this last week I spent the week with 10 people, one of which was located here in Portland, Oregon, where I live, and all the nine others either drove in several hours or flew in from places far away.
And it was a similar case for the first time I did it this past April. I had a couple people who were local and the rest of the folks flew in. And the reason I get to do this is because I'm showing up on social media. And so today, today I am—
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I want to share with you kind of this idea that came to me and I've shared at the places before but it came to me a couple years ago and the idea is the phrase, “This is bigger than me but it needs me.” Again, “This is bigger than me but it needs me.”
And this idea that, Flow School—while it needs me to create it—it’s so much bigger than me. And as I sit in the circle with all these other people, each of them bring a piece of the experience of the week together that I couldn't contribute because I can only bring my piece. And it would not start had I not been the one to hold center. And I shared this with people in Flow School this last week and so I'm bringing it to you today.
Because if you are a teacher, if you are a leader, if you are a parent—let’s talk about parenting: and for me, I have had children grow inside my body, which is wild, like, that that even happens. And then they came out. An idea of a child being born is way bigger than me. It's way bigger than me. And as at this moment, like my oldest, he is gonna graduate from high school.
This year, I am devastated and elated, both. We can hold both. There's always often, like, there's two things that are very opposite we can hold at the same time. And he is so much more than me, but he could not be here without me. So it's bigger than me, but it needs me. And this idea that even for me, as I show up on the ‘gram and...
You know, it's been nine years that I've been doing this and this, this idea of, I, I think it's fun. I think it's fun to share. And I know that there is a wide variety of, of experiences on social media and people and the way they feel about Instagram or TikTok or YouTube or all the things in general. There's, there's, you know, we can keep going. We can make a big list of all the platforms you could share on. But I love it. I think it's a really fun place to create.
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And it has created as part of just like my own personal creation, it's created a community because I've always wanted to show up and say, I want there to be value for my follow—for you listening right now. I want this to give you something of value. So it's not just like, nothing. I don't know what to say. I want this to actually give you something useful and usable. If you're going to take the time to show up here with me, I want it to mean something.
And that can look like a lot of different things. And the way we build trust and relationship, it can look like a lot of different things. But that truly has been something that I have thought for a long time. And as I started to see that people followed me that I didn't know and I didn't expect that, and I was like, okay, here we are. And also that I wanted to be the same person. Like if you're gonna listen to me on this podcast, tell a story, you could listen to me in the...
in this room tell the story this way or on social media. Like I'm the same person regardless of where I'm showing up and that felt really important too. Because again, this is bigger than me, but it needs me. And...
And I think one of the, you know, maybe sneaky parts about being a leader and the sneaky parts about being a teacher and the gift it is for me to work with other teachers and leaders is that there is a big piece of that journey that requires you to build a home in yourself because it's hard to hold the center.
It's hard to build the thing if you can't hold yourself up because it needs you. It's bigger than you but it needs you. And it comes in small steps and it comes in a very nonlinear way. There's not a go to point A to point Z. There's not a prescription because we're human because we're going to mix and mash our experiences in a lot of different ways. And so we have to be patient.
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But we have to be persistent. We have to be both things. And as I showed up in the room this past week and led this group of people and sat with them in their process and where we rode the wave of being excited to be together on the first day. And the second day it was this emotional break open, like, oh my gosh, we get to do this. This is amazing. Like a lot of feels for everybody.
And day three, Wednesday, we got to hump day and it was a hump day. It was like, oh shit, this is hard. Like this actually requires work to do this thing. And day four, I was like, okay, we got to play. So we brought play back into the things and we started to integrate the work with the play. And Friday, we wrapped it all together and it ended exactly how I wanted to end it. It ended in a way where the...
Where we got to the process and the explaining, and the dissection, and the nuance of it, is exactly where I want it to be. And so watching people walk that process and walking it with them is a really beautiful thing at this point because here I can show up and I could teach them a class, but I'm also teaching them how to teach a class. And so it's different layers within this experience of Flow School.
And we had this moment on Tuesday where we had this class and it was one of those classes that you feel in every part of you and it's magic. And it's the classes you're like, this is why I do this. It was that, so I taught that class and everybody feels so big in their body. They feel free.
In their bodies. And that, my friends, is why I do this. Movement is the easiest thing. This is the easiest thing to manipulate in our body. It's hard to touch fear and anger and joy. You can touch your body though, and it can be the pathway into feeling inside your body. And so we are there afterwards and we're having this conversation. We all group together spontaneously.
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People are sharing and we're in it for a second. And I shared with them this idea in this moment that it's bigger than you, but it needs you. And I could share it and say very transparently, like Flow School can exist because I'm here, but it can't exist unless you're here. So it's bigger than me, but it doesn't exist without me. And I told them, I was like, this is like—I love the image of a golden bowl.
I love the way the word golden bowl is very poetic, but if I were to hold a golden bowl and call it Flow School, it would need to balance on something. And it could be the smallest little, little platform that holds the bowl. And I am the platform and I can hold the bowl. So it needs me to hold it. But then the bowl can be filled with, with all different people and experiences, and it can be giant, but it needs to have somebody hold the center.
It's bigger than me. It's so much bigger than me, but it needs me. And that idea is both humbling to me and exhilarating to me. It is something that drives me forward and something that makes me sit with myself in gratitude that I have the opportunity to even hold, and an immense responsibility to hold. And it is the combination of all of those things.
So with this idea, maybe there are things in your life that you're like, wow, this is something bigger than me, but it needs me. And sometimes we don't know what those things are. And sometimes there is a wiggle and a growth into those things. And we are all on such a different journey. And even at this current moment, I'm like, okay, where do I move? How do...
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What do I do in this case or with this situation, et cetera, et cetera? We're always all figuring things out. And arriving here and I like to tell people, I'm like, I was not, I did not begin right here today. This very moment recording this podcast, sharing with you, this is not my beginning. This is not my beginning. My beginning was much smaller. And...years ago because, when do we really begin?
We could say the first class we teach as a teacher is our beginning. The first child we have is the beginning of sorts, right? And I think the important thing to remember about beginning and if you're on this journey where you're like, I want to hold something, I want to hold something that does so much good that is this golden bowl of experience for others. Yes. Yes. And as I told flow school folks this last week, being a beginner,
Being a beginner is a beginner. The beginner place is a magic place because you only get to be a beginner once and it is most often the hardest ever as a beginner. And the first time you do something is sometimes the hardest. Maybe it's, you know, the quote unquote worst.
And I think about teaching a class. If I were to create a class right now and be like, I'm going to go teach this class, or I'm going to give this speech, or I'm going to do whatever, I'm going to make this meal. Maybe there's some quote unquote beginner's luck. But if I'm really doing this as a skill and a craft, like I probably, I'm going to suck. And maybe it will be, you know, okay. But if I were to do that same thing and repeat it 10 times, is the 10th time going to be better than the first time? It is.
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It just is because that experience is something I'm going to learn from the experience to teach something. If I speak directly to teaching yoga, right? The experience in teaching and delivering and giving cues is going to improve my ability to guide it and to remember it and not feel flustered in myself is going to improve. There is going to be such a learning process. If you go from that beginner to not beginner,
And sometimes we get into the not beginner and then we learn something new and it feels like it launches us back to the beginner place. And then we're like, oh wait, I know some things. Which is also part of the flow school experience as people jump into this. And I think especially for the in real life experience because you're immersed in it a little bit more than online. Online gives other benefits, but when you come in person, then there's nothing to prove.
and you get to sit there and be like, okay, well, how can I deconstruct and integrate and innovate what I have learned prior to this flow school and now within flow school and now from all of these people participating in flow school and it can feel like it shoots you back to beginner land which can be frustrating and a little unsettling and then you walk through it because it's okay to be uncomfortable. And.
For me, I want to be somebody that can hold a golden bowl. I want to be able to hold the center of that. And I can be the smallest little center for that bowl to sit on. But if I can hold a bowl that can hold others and allow them the opportunity to move and to figure things out and be held, I choose that.
I choose that and it doesn't mean that it has to be everywhere and in everything. But the gift it is to be somebody that can hold in that way is felt in me. And so many people that I work with or that I have friends with, or that I want to make things in the world, right? And I even think about, I think about my good friend, Joy Sullivan, who is a poet.
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She has a book coming out in spring. So, Instructions for Traveling West. I'm one of her biggest publicists, I've declared myself. Go pre-order it, go look her up. Social media and Substack. And I think about her poems and where the personal experiences often are her observations. But there's so much bigger than her. I think about songs that artists create and they share with the world. And...
The songs were written by those people, but they're for other people. It's both, it's both. And that's really beautiful. You can find that as a repeated pattern all over the place. So.
Hand to heart with you in the things that you are building and desiring and a reminder to you that perhaps something is bigger than you, but it needs you. It needs you to hold the center of it and you can hold that big golden bowl of opportunity of experience for then others. And
This is not without our own internal ability and attention to ourselves. This is all the practice of paying attention. This is an intense opportunity for us to pay attention to ourselves and the way that we're showing up, how we're holding, how we're leading, how we are being able to be that center, and also putting ourselves in experience where we are held. So we...
Also remember that place too. It is all of it combined and it's not gonna be linear and it doesn't have to be. And it would actually be boring if it was. If we don't have a zigzaggy path to find our way into all the places we're gonna be, that will be boring. Oh, this is bigger than you, but it needs you. Those are the words that came to me.
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Like two years ago, two and a half years ago, as I walked forward into the things that I am now doing and have yet to do. And I feel that, I feel that with weeks like last week where people flew in to come and spend the week with me and the awe that I feel with that and the emotion that I feel with that, the gratitude that I feel with that, that this is a space that I have been able to create and it's not about me. And yet.
It is because it needs me. Mm, there are so many ways to be right. You are more than one thing, my friend.
Your voice, your gifts, the way that you show up, your non apology, but owning the shit out of who you are and what you have to give, it is needed. It is needed.
Thank you for being here. If you are interested in in real life Flow School, I'm going to put a link in the show notes. Then I have two upcoming at the first half of the year. I'm going to come to you a little bit of travel. I'm going to come to Florida in the beginning of March and I'm going to the Sacramento area, Northern California in the beginning or the end of May. So if you're looking for those experiences and if you are abroad, I am going to be coming to Switzerland.
First time ever going overseas, for teaching! And that's gonna be in October of next year. So in real life is coming to you, I'm still offering online, but this mixture of both is really needed. So I'm gonna share those in the links in the show notes. And please reach out to me if there are things that you're like, you want to reflect on, right? Maybe you take this as the journal prompt. Maybe you say, what is bigger than me that needs me if you wanna share any of those reflections.
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Or talk to me on the ‘gram or email me about, kind of, your experience with this, I would love to hear it. Have a wonderful day. And I hope that this practice of paying attention that you really feel that as it's so much more than moving your body. Although moving your body is hella good too. Big love to you.